Momma Likes To Wine And Whine

| Massachusetts, USA | Family & Kids

(I am working at a daycare and eating my lunch while the kids are having nap time. One of the kids, a two-year-old girl, has woken up early this day.)

Child: “[My name] drinking Diet Pepsi?”

Me: “Yep, I’m drinking a soda.”

Child: “Daddy drink Diet Pepisi.”

Me: “Daddy drinks Diet Pepsi?”

Child: “Yeah.”

Me: “[Child’s name] doesn’t drink Diet Pepsi, right?”

Child: “No, [child’s name] drink juice. Daddy drink Diet Pepsi. Momma drink wine.”

Me: “Momma drinks wine?”

Child: “Uh, huh. Momma drink wine. Momma drink a LOT of wine.”

Safety Before Stupid Customers

| Utah | Food & Drink

(I’m a delivery driver. This happens at the customer’s doorstep.)

Me: “That will be $26.52.”

(The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

Me: “Ma’am, we only carry $20 in change. Do you have any smaller bills?”

Customer: “Um, no, that’s stupid! Why don’t you carry more?”

Me: “It’s a safety issue. Do you have a card we can put it on?”

Customer: “How is it a safety issue for employees to give customers their change?”

Me: “If we could carry a lot of money, and people found out, we would get robbed a lot more.”

Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that they care more about their employees’ safety than customer service?”

Me: “I guess so.”

Customer: “Well, that’s bulls***!” *slams the door in my face*

Check For Nerve Damage

| New York, USA | Food & Drink

(A customer orders a cold drink and a hot drink.)

Me: “Here’s your first drink.”

Customer: “Is this the hot or cold one?”

(She’s holding the cup in her hand at this point, which is very obviously warm to the touch.)

Me: *trying to not laugh* “That’s the hot drink. Your cold drink is coming right up.”

Log On To The Clueless Wide Web, Part 3

| British Columbia, Canada | Uncategorized

(We have kiosks in our location that provide a number of services. We also have an online service that provides some different options than we are able to provide in the store. A woman in her 30s is on the kiosk closest to me trying to order something that we don’t do in the store.)

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m trying to order [product], but I can’t find it on this kiosk.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but that item is only available online.”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s only available through the computer.”

Customer: *blank look*

Me: “You have to go onto a computer and go to the website to order that item, because it’s not available to order in the store.”

Customer: “What computer?”

Me: “You have to get onto the internet and order that product from our website.”

Customer: “I don’t understand what you’re saying! What’s a website?”

Me: *speechless*

Related:
Log On To The Clueless Wide Web, Part 2
Log On To The Clueless Wide Web

All Karma’d Out

| Australia | Holidays

Customer: “Do you have any boxed Christmas cards?”

Me: “Yes, we have two shelves over there. Have you seen those?”

Customer: “Yes, but do you have any that don’t donate to charity?”

Me: “I don’t think so.”

Customer: “Fine, I’ll go shopping somewhere else!”

Page 1,945/3,082First...1,9431,9441,9451,9461,947...Last