Short Hair For The Short Fused

| Netherlands | Uncategorized

(A girl walks into our hair salon and makes a strange request for her boyfriend’s appointment.)

Customer: “Can you cut it shorter than he says you should? He’ll demand he doesn’t have to pay, but I’ll just pay in advance.”

Me: “You have to go through all this just to get his hair shorter?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s not about the short hair. I just think it’s hot when he throws a fit.”

Life In The Space-Slime Continuum

| Spokane Valley, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(At our theater we have a movie poster for the 4th installment of a popular children’s movie franchise in 3D. Because of this, it says that the movie will be in 4D. I overhear this exchange between two teenage customers in the lobby.)

Customer #1: “What’s the difference between 3D and 4D?”

Customer #2: “3D is when stuff pops out at you and 4D is when it gets you wet.”

From Couch Potato To Baked Potato

| British Columbia, Canada | Uncategorized

(Due to a large fire in our area, over 30,000 people are under mandatory evacuation until the fire can be brought under control.)

Customer: “Where’s my technician? I was promised a technician today!”

Me: “Well, your area is under a mandatory evacuation order due to a fire in the area. You should leave immediately if you’re still there. Our technician can’t get through the police roadblock to your home. We already called and left a message on your cell phone to advise you of this.”

Customer: “Well, I’m here. Where’s my technician? Why can’t I turn any lights on?”

Me: “The power to the affected areas has been cut deliberately due to the fire.”

Customer: “Why can’t he get past the roadblock? Why didn’t you call my landline?”

Me: “They’re not even letting people who live in the area enter the evacuation zone. We didn’t call your landline because no one should be home right now.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not my problem. Sort it out!”

It’s Only Free Ninety-Nine

| Wisconsin, USA | Uncategorized

(We are doing a promotion where every customer gets one free can of cat food with every purchase.)

Me: “Hi, today, we are giving everyone a free can of cat food. Would you be interested in that?”

Customer: “No, I do not have enough money with me today.”

Me: “But ma’am, it’s free.”

Customer: “What? I said no! I do not have the money for it today!”

Kids Like Scratch And Sniff Anyway

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “I’m sorry, we only have that book in paperback. Would you like me to order the hardback?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m replacing a damaged book and the school library insisted that it be hardback.”

(While I begin to collect her information, the customer starts muttering sulkily.)

Customer: “We shouldn’t have to replace it. Our dog urinated on it. The pages are a little stained, but it dried. It’s not like it smells or anything. You can still read it. Those librarians are so picky!”

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