2 Good 2 Be True

, | Miami, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(I am working in the young men’s department of a large department store. My department contains athletic clothing, including swimwear. A customer is looking at a large rack of bathing suits that are on clearance.)

Me: “Hello, how are you, sir?”

Customer: “Fine, thank you. I can’t believe all these bathing suits are so cheap!”

Me: “It’s officially the fall season, so all of our bathing suits are reduced for clearance.”

(The customer mumbles something about $2.00 and hands me the suit he’s holding, which is made by one of the most expensive brands we carry.)

Me: “I’ll be happy to check the price for you.”

(I walk to the register, which is nearby, and check the price. It rings up for $39.00.)

Me: “Sir, this suit is on sale for $39.00.”

Customer: “The price tag says it’s $2.00.”

Me: “It was originally $78.00, but now it’s $39.00.”

(I point to the price tag, which very clearly in large numbers says the original price and the reduced price.)

Customer: “No, it says ‘Now 2.’ Two dollars, see?”

(He points to the tag, which has a very tiny number 2, much smaller than where it says $39.00, under the word “Now”.)

Me: “I see. That just means it’s the second reduction. The price is $39.00.”

Customer: “Well, that’s confusing! You shouldn’t put that it’s $2.00. They all say they’re $2.00. I don’t want to pay more than $2.00!” *leaves in a huff*

First Name First, Last Name Last

| Little Rock, AR, USA | Technology

Teacher: “I can’t log in. I am using the username our IT guys set up for us.”

Me: “What username are you using?”

Teacher: “First_Lastname.”

Me: “So what is your first and last name?”

Teacher: “Oh…am I supposed to enter my real first and last name separated by an underscore?”

Me: “As opposed to what?”

Teacher: “As opposed to typing ‘First_Lastname’?”

The Uncertainty Principle Of E-Mail

| Dartmouth, NS, Canada | Technology

(I’m a part-time cellphone salesman and a full time web development student.)

Customer: “So, if I buy this smartphone, I will need to cancel my home internet, right?”

Me: “Why do you think that, ma’am?”

Customer: “What, are you an idiot? You can’t have email in more than one place.”

Me: “Um, yes, you sure can, ma’am.”

Customer: “What do you know? You’re just a kid in a cellphone store. My husband knows everything there is to do with computers. He works at [clothing store].”

Me: “Well, ma’am, not only do I work here, but I am also in IT and guarantee you that you can have your e-mail on your cell and computer.”

Customer: “You’re an idiot. You don’t know anything!” *storms out without her new phone*

Cheap Like White On Rice

| Minnesota, USA | Food & Drink

(We have a customer who comes in and complains every single time to try and get his meal for free. I have seen him in action so I know to be cautious, but alas, he complains anyway.)

Customer: “What’s wrong with this rice?”

Me: “I’m not sure what you mean, sir–”

Customer: “It’s too light in color!”

Me: “Does it taste bad?”

Customer: “No, but it’s too light! It’s usually darker!”

Me: “That means it’s fresh, sir. It just came out. The longer it sits, the darker it gets.”

Customer: “This is bulls***!”

(The rice was sampled and seen to be in excellent quality, but he continued claiming it was BS until he had to be escorted out.)

Pray The Gay To Stay

| Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Top

(We run a number of programs to help parents of children with special needs, so they can access services. We occasionally also give out parenting advice.)

Caller: “Can you tell me what makes someone gay?”

Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that?”

Caller: “Gay. What makes someone gay?”

Me: “Ma’am, if your child is gay, nothing ‘made’ them gay. And being gay is certainly not a disability.”

Caller: “Of course it’s not a disability! What kind of disgusting person thinks being gay is a disability?”

Me: “Then why do you want to know what makes someone gay?”

Caller: “I want to make my son gay. I would love to have a gay child. I’m very open minded!”

Me: “Ma’am, you can’t make someone gay. If your son is straight, you can’t change that.”

Caller: “Well, I see on the news all the time about how single parent families have gay kids. I am a single mother, but I still don’t think he’s gay.”

Me: “Um–”

Caller: “Should I show him pictures of gay men having sex?”

Me: *stunned* “Um…I doubt that’s a good idea. You would just confuse him, and possibly scare him. Can I ask how old your son is?”

Caller: “He’s three. I want him to be gay before he goes to school. So if gay porn would scare him, should I show him straight porn? I really really want a gay son.”

Me: “Ma’am, you cannot show a 3 year old porn of any kind! You can’t control your son’s sexuality!”

Caller: “You don’t understand. I’m very open minded! You must just be homophobic.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m gay!”

Caller: “Then why won’t you help me? Don’t you want my son to be gay? He’d be such a good gay man!”

Page 1,938/2,992First...1,9361,9371,9381,9391,940...Last