There… Are… Four… Pumps!

| NM, USA | Right | July 2, 2013

(One of my regulars comes in.)

Regular: “$20 on pump five.”

Me: “We don’t have a pump five. We only have four pumps.”

Regular: “Yes you do. I’m on the white car.”

(I look out the window to see what pump she’s on, and I am surprised to see four white cars.)

Me: “Which white car one is yours, ma’am?”

Regular: “The white one!”

Me: “Ma’am, all the cars on the pumps are white; what make is yours?”

Regular: “THE WHITE ONE! Just put $20 on five so I can go!”

Me: “We still don’t have a pump five, and I’m trying to find out what car is yours, seeing as no one else is in here to tell me what one isn’t theirs.”

Regular: “It is your job to know exactly what car is mine! I have no reason to tell you what car is mine; just put my gas on pump five so I can get out of here.”

Me: “Okay, fine, I will put $20 on pump five.”

Regular: “Now was that so hard?”

(The customer leaves, and I sit and wait for her to return to complain that her gas isn’t pumping. Seeing as I should know her car, and have explained that we don’t have a pump five, I don’t put the money in when she picks up the handle for pump four.)

Regular: “Why isn’t my gas pumping on pump four?”

Me: “I put it on pump five, like you asked.”

Regular: “IT’S PUMP FOUR! GOD, LEARN MY CAR ALREADY!”

Me: “Ma’am, I have over 100 regulars who come into this store. If I memorized every one of their cars, I wouldn’t have to room for anything else. Next time you are in, remember we don’t have a pump five, and we are not required to know what car you drive. I’m just here to take money and push buttons.”

Regular: “Useless… just useless! I’m late for work because of you! My job is more important!”

Me: “Oh goody! Where do you work?”

Regular: “At [local fast food restaurant].”

Me: “Well, okay then. If you hadn’t actually been fighting with me, and simply explained that you were on the back pump closest to the fence, you’d be on your way to your job. Have a nice day!”

Regular: “I’m never shopping here again!”

Me: “See you next week.”

(I did.)

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How You Feelin’?

| Right | July 1, 2013

livingwithinsanity.com

Via.

Clever And Original

| Right | July 1, 2013

Meme1

Please Mind The Gap Between The Bigot And All Reason

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Right | July 1, 2013

(My partner and I are on the escalators in a train station leading to the platforms. We are standing to one side to let people through on the other. An older woman is standing on the other side, blocking the way for rushing people. Two younger women approach.)

Young Woman: “Um, excuse me, miss, could you please move over? We’re running late for our train.”

(The older woman sniffs and looks offended, but neither moves nor acknowledges them.)

Young Woman: “Ma’am, could you move? We need to get home, and another train doesn’t come for half an hour.”

(She tries to get around the woman, still to no avail.)

Older Woman: “What do you brats think you’re doing? I’m an older citizen, and you don’t belong here. Look at you, you little [racial slur], with your tiny shorts, and boobs everywhere!”

(The older woman continues her tirade for 10 seconds, before I’m fed up.)

Me: “Look lady, move over and shut up. You’re obviously on the wrong side of the escalator, and you aren’t their mother. Move. Now!”

(She moves, and both the girls smile, say thanks, and keep running. She now turns her foul mouth on me, even as I step off the escalator and head for the platforms, hand in hand with my partner.)

Older Woman: “Nasty b****! You came here on a boat too, did you? Defending all that filth!”

(I just smile at the two girls, who have just stopped, and are speaking to the guard. They point at the woman, and we watch as she’s removed from the station.)

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Playing Gameboys

| IL, USA | Right | July 1, 2013

(I am in my local video game store, picking up a copy of ‘Devil May Cry’. I am the only female in the store, and since I can’t see well enough to get a driver’s license, my father has driven me here. The store is really busy, so after plucking a copy from the shelf, I browse for a bit. A little boy approaches me.)

Boy: “Is that for your dad?”

Me: “No, this is for me.”

(The boy’s eyes widen in surprise.)

Boy: “You play video games?”

Me: “Yes, I do.”

Boy: “But you’re a GIRL!”

Me: “So? Girls play video games too, honey.”

Boy: “But you like girly games, right?”

Me: “Actually, no. I hate girly games. I prefer action games and action RPGs, like Devil May Cry, Castlevania, Final Fantasy, and Kingdom Hearts.”

(The little guy’s eyes widen so much that I’m expecting them to pop out of his head. He turns to face his mother.)

Boy: “Mom! Mom! There’s a girl that likes video games!”

(The mom hurriedly grabs her son, checks out their games, and practically runs from the store. As soon as the door shuts behind them, everyone inside cracks up.)

Store Clerk: *still laughing* “But you’re a GIRL!”

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