Sage Age Advice

| USA | Right | November 1, 2013

(I’m head cashier in a craft store, and do all the returns. I have a couple come in with several bags and are rummaging through receipts. I start working through their transactions and find items that aren’t from my company and items without receipts.)

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am, but I cannot process a return for these items.”

Wife: “You should give me the money for these items anyway, because I have had a hard life! I have to take care of my mother and my four siblings!”

Me: “I can understand that, but—”

Wife: “What do you know about taking care of the elderly?”

Me: “Since I was 12 I cared for my father with cancer, who died when I was 18. Then my uncle was diagnosed also with cancer. He passed away two days ago. Between that I have another uncle diagnosed and living with me. Previously, my grandmother who had Alzheimer’s also lived with me and passed last summer. I’m also taking care of my mother who has severe arthritis. I have 5 siblings and 20 cousins, but everyone is dropped on me with no care or help.”

Wife: “I’m so sorry; I guess you do know what it’s like. Does it get better?”

Me: “No, but bubble wrap helps.”

1 Thumbs
2,000
VOTES

Stress About The Dress

| Right | November 1, 2013

Quantifying Stupidity

| Ann Arbor, MI, USA | Right | October 31, 2013

(We have several self-checkout machines at our store, which I am in charge of. For certain produce, the machine will ask for a quantity.)

Customer: “EXCUSE ME, MISS!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “The machine isn’t working!”

(I walk over and notice the machine is asking for a quantity. It says ‘enter the quantity’ both aloud and is also displayed on the screen.)

Me: “Oh, it just wants to know the quantity.”

(The customer stares at me blankly.)

Me: “How many do you have?”

Customer: “Ohhh!”

1 Thumbs
1,072
VOTES

Checking Him In And Checking Her Out

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | October 31, 2013

(I work at a hotel that caters to a branch of a hospital. I’m a larger-chested woman, and get frequent sexual harassment from guests.)

Me: “As the hospital pays a portion of your stay, your grand total for the evening will be $44.40.”

Guest: “That’s fine; I’d like to pay in cash.”

Me: “Cash is acceptable, but we do ask that we get a credit card on file.”

Guest: “Why the f*** do you need my credit card?”

Me: “We need a credit card for incidentals or if by chance your stay is extended through the hospital.”

Guest: “What the f*** is an incidental?”

Me: “Incidentals would be damages or possible problems that may arise in the room.”

Guest: “Do I look like I’d cause a f*****g problem?”

Me: “Sir, I do not believe any of my guests would ever cause a problem; it’s just a precaution we must take. Now, I’d also ask that you refrain from using the f-word in the lobby.”

Guest: “Listen, tits—”

Me: “Sir, I kindly ask that you refrain from the vulgarities.”

Guest: “You said I couldn’t say f***. You didn’t say nothin’ about tits!”

Me: “That is a derogatory term in reference to my physical appearance. I will ask that you do not use that type of language in my lobby, or I will be forced to call the hospital and they will move you to a different establishment for the remainder of your stay.”

Guest: “FIRST YOU TELL ME I HAVE TO USE A CREDIT CARD WHEN I F****** SAID I WAS PAYING CASH, AND NOW YOU’RE DENYING MY FREE SPEECH. DO YOU KNOW WHO OUR PRESIDENT IS, WHITE B****?!”

Me: “Sir, I’ve asked you multiple times to correct your language and because of that last comment, you’ve now forced me to call the hospital as you are not welcome at our establishment.”

Guest: “Whoa, whoa, whoa, sweet-cakes. I was just trying to make you angry. I love the way your boobs bounce when you get flustered and hold back.”

(At that point my manager stepped in and told him to leave without even calling the hospital. Sick or not, no one has an excuse to openly sexually harass someone just trying to do their job.)

1 Thumbs
2,377
VOTES

The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments, Part 2

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | October 31, 2013

(I am queuing for my meal at a diner. I am a huge ‘Doctor Who’ fan. I am looking at an annual from the old series (1963 – 1989) when the customer behind me in the queue looks over at me.)

Customer: “Hey! Why are you reading that bulls***?”

Me: “It’s not bulls***.”

Customer: “It is! That thing’s evil! It lies about how the universe was made! It says the universe has more than humans!”

Me: *annoyed* “Look, if you want to be b****y, then push off.”

(I see the customer leave, and I get my meal, thinking nothing more about it. Then the customer gets the seating next to me. I’m about to get away when she comes near, but she gestures to stop.)

Customer: “Listen, I’m sorry I was like that. It’s just that I’ve had a bad history with the show.”

Me: “What happened?”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “20.”

Customer: “When I was a few years younger than you, I watched that show like anything. I absolutely loved it. But my parents are members of [really religious group], and said it was against our belief. I kept telling them I didn’t care what they said; I liked the show and I know this sounds silly, but I loved The Doctor. He actually did look good then. But my mom threw the television out the window and shouted at me. So I get memories whenever I see it.”

Me: “I am SO sorry! Listen, I’m really sorry I did that. If you want, I can give you the annual. You’ve missed out a LOT.”

Customer: “I don’t know about anything that happened in the last 30 years on the show. My parents even told me I was being a stupid lovesick girl. Well, they’re in the old people home now, so I don’t care.”

(I proceed to tell her most of what I know, and give her an address for a shop of old show memorabilia. I’m just happy someone can overcome their problems.)

Related:
The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments

1 Thumbs
1,679
VOTES
Page 1,934/3,919First...1,9321,9331,9341,9351,936...Last
« Previous
Next »