She’s A No Nonsense Kinda Girl

| Columbus, IN, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in a big box retailer in the toy department. A customer approaches me when I’m stocking in the Barbie aisle to ask a question.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m looking for a specific Barbie and I was wondering if you had it in.”

Me: “Okay, which one?”

Customer: “Do you have Fascist Barbie?”

Me:Fascist Barbie?”

Customer: “Yeah, it’s Fascist Barbie.”

Me: *confused* “Uh, no, we don’t have a Fascist Barbie doll.”

Customer: “Really? I can’t find that anywhere! I don’t really know the name of it. It’s like fascist. Fashion-something Barbie.”

Me: “Oh, Fashionista Barbie?”

Customer: *suddenly happy* “Yes! That’s it!”

Me: “Yeah, we have those. They’re right over here.”

Holding A Smoking Gun

| South West, FL, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(A customer is filling out a handgun license application.)

Customer: “It asks here if I have a misdemeanor for domestic violence.”

Me: “Yes, that is what it is asking you.”

Customer: “You can’t buy a gun if you have a domestic violence charge?”

Me: “Of course not. You can’t even legally be in this store.”

Customer: “What do you mean, ‘Of course not’? You f****** b****!”

Me: “Have a good one.”

Customer: *grabs paperwork, tears it up, and tosses it at me*

Preparing For The Not-So-Inevitable

| Ontario, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “Don’t get upset, okay?”

Me: *confused* “…okay?”

Customer: “Just, please don’t be mad at me.”

Me: “Um, all right.”

Customer: “I like your hair.”

Me: “Thanks.”

Customer: “It’s a compliment.”

Me: “I know. Thanks.”

Customer: “So, don’t get mad.”

Me: “Okay…”

Password Reset In Just $ Steps

| Michigan, USA | Technology

(A customer calls and needs a password reset. I reset it and the password has upper and lower case letters and a number in it.)

Me: “Okay, I have a new password for you.”

(I spell out the password for the customer to write down.)

Customer: “Thanks. Is the 4 capital, too?”

Related:
As Easy As !-@-#

The Gift That Keeps On Grouping

| Michigan, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hi, I’d like to return this item, I can’t give it as a gift .”

(He hands me a copy of Pygmalion.)

Me: “That shouldn’t be a problem. Is there anything wrong with it?”

Customer: “Turns out it’s a play. They wont be able to read it.”

Me: “Oh, they don’t like plays?”

Customer: “No, they can’t read it because there aren’t enough people to read the parts!”

Me: “Might I suggest that they just read it like a regular book?”

Customer: *looks at me like I’m crazy*

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