Modern TV’s Have A Solid State

| USA | Right | August 2, 2013

(I work at a call center that deals with warranties on different products. In order to file any complaints regarding the product, I first have to get all of the info about the product. I am speaking to a customer who is calling to make a complaint about her TV.)

Me: “Alright, and would you mind telling me the size of your television?”

Customer: “I’m not sure what size it is. Should I measure it?”

Me: “No, no, that is fine. Could you tell me what brand it is?”

Customer: “It is [name brand TV set].”

Me: “Great, thank you! And now could you tell me if it is an LCD or LED TV?”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Well, it is the type of screen. I can’t remember what LED stands for currently, but I know LCD stands for ‘Liquid Crystal Display’.”

Customer: “Oh… okay. Just one second and I’ll find out for you.”

Me: “Great, thanks!”

(I hear silence over the phone for a moment, then some light tapping sounds in the background.)

Customer: “Okay, I’m back, and it isn’t a Liquid Crystal Display. The screen is too hard!”

All’s Well That Messengers Well

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | August 2, 2013

(I work at a healthcare store. Whenever we have promos such as gift cards when purchasing more than a certain dollar amount, we call our regular customers a week in advance to let them know. After each call, either actually talking to the customer or leaving a message, we put a check next to their name on our list. One cranky regular misses the promo weekend and comes in three weeks later.)

Customer: “Hello, [My Name]. I’m just parked outside. Can you get me my products?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Customer: “Don’t you have any promos? You haven’t had one since December.”

Me: “No, I know it’s been a while.”

(I make sure not to mention the promo three weeks prior, as I know she missed it, and I am sure she will throw a fit. I go to the back to get her products. As I am coming back, I see the customer yelling at my coworker. She then turns to me.)

Customer: “This is so disappointing! I told you guys to call me every time you have a promo. [Coworker] said that you had one three weeks ago!”

Me: “Oh, we did call you. I’m sure we did. You’re the first one we call.”

Customer: “No, I did not get any call. No message. This is the second time!”

Me: “I remember the first time you said your daughter forgot to tell you.”

Customer: “Well, this time I really didn’t get any call! No message, nothing!”

(The customer goes on and on as I am ringing her in, and I am just nodding. She’s always in a hurry, so I need to ring her in as I am listening. I can see the other customers looking at her.)

Me: “I really apologize, but as you see here on our call list, I called all these customers including you. Your name even has an asterisk ’cause you’re the first one we call.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get anything! There could be something wrong with my answering machine, but I doubt it! You guys owe me!”

(The customer storms out of the store. The next day she calls.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Store]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh [My Name], this is [Customer]. I just called to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I asked my daughter if she knew of any promos you guys had, and she just gasped because she forgot to tell me that you guys called.”

Me: “That’s okay Mrs. [Customer]. It’s not a problem.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you. Bye!”

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I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11

| PA, USA | Right | August 2, 2013

(I’m a regular at a particular location of a major book store chain and know where most of the books are. I usually get something at the cafe and a few books, and make a habit of re-shelving everything myself once I’m done. As I’m re-shelving books one evening, a man approaches me.)

Man: “You. I want to find a book for my wife.”

Man’s Wife: “I just need new tricks or tips on Sudoku.”

Me: “Oh! I love Sudoku. Well, it looks like you’re in the right section. Did you not spot anything you like?”

Man: “Can’t you just look up what she needs for her?”

(I smile and remain generally pleasant, mainly because I think this is funny every time it happens.)

Me: “I don’t actually work here, but if you have the title, sir, just go to the service counter right there. They can find it for you.”

Man: “I just want a book my wife can look at right now. Why can’t you just get it for us?”

Me: “Well… these are books of more puzzles. Um… I don’t actually work here, sir. But if you’re having a hard time finding a suitable book, you can always Google up keywords like ‘sudoku tips’ or ‘solving sudoku’.”

Man: “Yes, but do you have it in a book?”

Me: “Sir, if you would go to the service counter and ask, I’m sure they can find it for you.”

Man: “You! Why can’t you find it!?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t work here. If you go to the counter, an employee could help you look something up in their computer.”

Man: “You’re not going to help us find this book?”

Me: “I wouldn’t be sure where to start, but an employee—”

(An employee that has been walking toward us in the last part of the conversation finally comes up next to me.)

Employee: “I can take over.”

Me: “—can take over from here. Thanks, bye!”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

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First Aisle Problems

| Long Island, NY, USA | Right | August 2, 2013

(I’m a customer in line waiting to pay, when suddenly the registers freeze and have to reboot. There are two impatient customers in line behind me.)

Employee: “Sorry, but the registers just froze. Please be patient while we reboot them.”

Impatient Customer #1: “What did she say?”

Impatient Customer #2: “The registers froze.”

Impatient Customer #1: “Ugh, it’s like living in a third world country!”

Not All Customers Are Sick

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Right | August 2, 2013

(A customer comes up to my counter.)

Customer: “I have a fascinating offer to make you.”

Me: “Uh-oh?”

Customer: “If you let me use some cleaners, and give me a free water from the fountain, I’ll clean up the mess I just made throwing up all over your bathroom.”

Me: “Oh… Well, the fountain drinks don’t have water, but I’ll get you some. [Coworker] over there is actually cleaning the men’s room right now, so you can talk to him.”

Customer: “Thank you. I’m sorry.”

Me: “Oh, it’s alright.”

(She does indeed borrow some cleaning spray and some towels, and disappears into the women’s restroom for a few minutes. My coworker approaches.)

Coworker: “What was that all about?”

Me: “She didn’t say?”

Coworker: “She just said you said it was okay to borrow the cleaning supplies.”

Me: “Oh. She said she threw up and wanted to clean it up.”

Coworker: “Really?”

Me: “Yup.”

(She comes back out at the end of this conversation.)

Customer: “Again, I’m really, really sorry.”

Me: “Most other customers would have just left it there and not even told us. You told us, apologized, and helped us clean it. You can come in here and throw up every night for all I care. Hope you feel better!”

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