In Other Words

| Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Uncategorized

(A man is browsing through the lingerie and I approach to see if he needs help.)

Me: “Are you shopping for a gift for your girlfriend?”

Customer: “Naw, it’s for shawty, my hollaback girl!”

Intrinsically Disadvantaged

| Richmond, Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in a doctor’s office calling previous patients asking them to rate the quality of their visit. If they rate it “good” or below, I have to ask why and take down the reason. I have just gotten through most of the questions, when I ask the final one.)

Me: “…and would you rate our billing service as excellent, very good, good, fair, or poor?”

Patient: “Oh, good, I guess.”

Me: “Okay, and may I ask why you didn’t rate it excellent or very good?”

Patient: “It’s a BILL!”

Me: *laughing* “All right, I will make sure to make a note of that. Thank you very much and have a wonderful day!”

Thou Shalt Remain Loyal To Employer

| Fort Worth, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Your prices are outrageous!”

Me: “I know. I, myself, prefer to fill up somewhere cheaper.”

Customer: “You should shop here, you know.”

Me: “I buy some of my things here, but I always fill up somewhere cheaper.”

Customer: “No, no, you should fill up and buy everything here! Otherwise, you’ll go to hell.”

Me: “Uh, I really don’t think God will mind too much if I don’t buy everything from here.”

Customer: “You’d better be sure. I wouldn’t want you to go to hell.”

Me: “Oh, uh, thanks, I guess?”

Customer: “I don’t want any d*** gas station attendants filling up my hell just because they didn’t fill up at their own store.”

Age Is But A Number, Part 2

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Uncategorized

Customer: “I need to return this.”

Me: “I see that it’s been open and even played with. Mind if I ask what was wrong?”

Customer: “My son says it’s too difficult to play with.”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, but once again, this is clearly used, as it’s showing signs of wear. I’m afraid I can’t give you a refund.”

Customer: “You don’t understand. We have no use for this anymore! My son can’t play with it! It’s too difficult for him! Give me my money back!”

Me: “Well sir, the packaging for this toy does say it’s for ‘Ages 14 and Up’. How old is your son, anyway?”

Customer: “26.”

Related:
Age Is But A Number

For The Sake Of Demonstration

, | Georgia, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

(This gentleman has just ordered a vanilla cone. My coworker is standing at the window giving it out while I am beside her. He asks an odd question as he is handed his ice cream.)

Customer: “Do you believe in unicorns?”

Coworker: “What?“

Customer: “Doo-dee-doo-dee…”

(He takes the ice cream cone and smashes it onto the top of his head, I’m assuming as to resemble a unicorn horn, and then drives away.)

Me: “Oh, my.”

Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

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