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(I work at a small kiosk in a mall. Due to the booth-like appearance and the lack of any walls, many shoppers like to ask me for directions to other businesses in the mall.)
Shopper: “Hey, where’s the post office?”
Me: “Right behind you; there is a camera store—”
Shopper: “No! I want the post office, not photos!”
Me: “Like I said, there’s a camera store behind y—”
Shopper: “Shut up about the d*** cameras! I need the nearest post office!”
Me: “And if you would just take an extra few seconds to listen to me, I would’ve been able to inform you that there is a postal service desk inside of the camera store.”
Shopper: “Hey, it’s not my fault you weren’t being clear! Also, that’s no way to talk to a paying customer!”
Me: “With all due respect, ma’am; you haven’t bought anything from me. You’re not a paying customer. Secondly, I am running a business here, not an information booth. I personally think you are a greater target for criticism; you’re lucky I went lightly. Now, unless you plan on buying something; please let me do my real job.”
Client: “Can you make these messages go away?”
Me: “Which messages are those, sir?”
Client: “The ones I get when I run backups.”
Me: “Ah. What do they say?”
(He reads out the error messages.)
Me: “Uh, sir, how long have you been getting these errors for?”
Client: “Since your software was installed last year. Why?”
Me: “And did you report this earlier, sir?”
Client: “No, but they’re really starting to bug me. How do I make them go away?”
Me: “Sir, you do realise that ‘Backup Failed [error code], contact [supplier]‘ means you have no backups of your entire financial system?”
Client: “What the h*** does that matter? I’m sick of having to hit ENTER all the time! Just tell me how to get rid of these stupid messages!”