Young Boys Display Monstrous Behavior

| TX, USA | Right | November 11, 2013

(I work in a costume shop, and I see a six- or seven-year-old boy looking through the aisle.)

Me: “Hey there, little guy! Are you looking for a costume?”

Boy: “Yeah! I’m gonna be a clown, zombie, vampire, werewolf, monster!”

(The mother of the boy comes around the corner.)

Mother: “Sweetie, you can only be one, so just choose one.”

Boy:” Okay, can I be a clown monster werewolf vampire?”

Me: “But not a zombie?”

Boy: “Oh yeah, and zombie!”

Me: “How about we stick two of them together? You can be a werewolf zombie, or a clown monster, or a vampire clown, even.”

Boy: “Ooh! I want to be a vampire clown. Can I be a vampire clown, please? I want lots of blood.”

Mother: “Do you even have a vampire clown costume?”

Me: “We have clown and vampire costumes separately. I’d say a clown outfit, some vampire teeth, and some blood should make the costume right.”

Boy: “Do you have lots of blood?”

(I point to the rack with small tubes of fake blood.)

Me: “We only have these.”

Boy: “No, I want lots of blood.”

Me: “Well, I’m sure it’ll have enough—”

Boy: *serious face* “No. I want lots of blood. I’ll just have to take yours…”

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He Is Irony Man

| Lansing, MI, USA | Right | November 11, 2013

(I work third shift at a local gas station, and have just finished ringing a customer up.)

Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, sir?”

Customer: “No, and I don’t want one. That’s just a way for people I don’t know to track the things I’m buying!”

Me: “That’s fine, sir. Your total today is [total].”

Customer: “Alright, I’ll be putting it on my credit card.”

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Didn’t Bank On That Ending

| Eugene, OR, USA | Right | November 11, 2013

(It’s a particularly busy day in our bank, and I’m working the drive through window. I have a long line of cars waiting, when I hear a customer in line start shouting across the lobby at the other tellers in front.)

Customer: “Look, I’m on my work break here! Can’t you go any faster?”

Coworker: “We’re moving as fast as we can, ma’am. We’re a bit short-staffed today, but we’ll be with you as soon as possible.”

Customer: “But I’m on my BREAK! I have to get back to work.”

Coworker: *still running another customer’s transaction* “Yes, ma’am, I understand.”

Customer: “Well, what about her? Can’t she help me? I’m in a hurry!”

(I suddenly realize that she’s referring to me, while I’m in the middle of my fifth car in a row.)

Manager: “Ma’am, she’s currently assisting customers in our drive through. If she becomes available, she will come to the front to help whoever she can.”

Customer: “Well, I would have driven through myself if I knew it would take this long!”

(I continue to help cars, and after finishing the last transaction, I go to the front to help. I get the shouting customer.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, this deposit slip is for [Competing Bank].”

(The customer turns BRIGHT RED and rushes out so fast you’d think she just robbed the place.)

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Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup

, | Not Always Right | Right | November 10, 2013

Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. He’s The Best Actor Of The Bunch (3,379 thumbs up)
  2. Hasn’t Got A Leg To Stand On (2,068 thumbs up)
  3. Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition (2,953 thumbs up)
  4. Some Like It Not Hot (2,521 thumbs up)
  5. Demanding Understanding (2,445 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Bird Brained, Part 9

| Norway | Right | November 10, 2013

(I work in a pet store, and only one staff member is male. We also have a chatty amazon parrot.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Does the parrot say anything?”

Me: “Yes! He can say many things! Greetings and lots of random nonsense!”

(I wave at the parrot and he responds by saying ‘buh bye,’ and basically setting him off on a chatting rampage.)

Customer: “I thought you said it was a he?”

(I stare at the customer, somewhat confused.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well… that’s clearly a woman’s voice!”

(I just stand there for a moment before explaining the principal behind parrots speaking. Needless to say, the customer was sort of embarrassed as he left.)

Related:
Bird Brained, Part 8
Bird Brained, Part 7
Early Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 6
Bird Brained, Part 5
Bird Brained, Part 4
Bird Brained, Part 3
Bird Brained, Part 2
Bird Brained

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