Obama Is On A Roll

| VA, USA | Food & Drink, Politics, Top

Me: “May I offer you a basket of bread?”

Customer: “Yeah, do you think I can have a basket of just the rolls?”

Me: “Absolutely! I’ll be right back—”

Customer: “You know I bet 99.9% of people who walk in here only want the rolls. Am I right? Why do you even bother carrying the other bread?”

Me: “Well, sir, actually a lot of people like the other bread. Some people even request baskets with no rolls!”

(The customer is all of a sudden very worked up.)

Customer: “Well, I bet those people are people who voted for Obama!”

Me: “I really wouldn’t know, sir.”

Customer: “Well you could probably just tell by looking at them!”

Me: “Sir, I really have no idea what people’s political leanings are based on their bread preferences.”

Customer: “Whatever…”

Pushing Sales Has Pushed His Luck

| Reston, VA, USA | Religion, Technology

(I work in the computing department. We’re pushed to always get protection plans. I have sold a customer a laptop.)

Me: “Well, just so you know, we do offer [protection plan]. If anything bad happens to the laptop—”

Customer: “What? What do you mean by something bad?

Me: “Unfortunately, bad things can happen to computers. There are hundreds of computers in the back that have been destroyed in many different ways. If you get a protection plan, you can get the computer replaced if something bad happens to it on accident.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? Why are you wishing bad luck on me?”

Me: “Sir, I wasn’t wishing bad luck on you. I was just offering you an avenue to make sure your investment is protected.”

Customer: “You shouldn’t be threatening me with bad luck! You should wish me good luck. This is bad; this is very bad right here.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m not trying to wish you bad luck; I’m just recommending something that many of our customers—”

Customer: “No, no! This is very bad. You’re wishing bad things to happen to me. I tell you what; I am going to go home, and pray to God that he does bad things to you!”

Happy Birthday Two You

| Nanaimo, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Top

(I am working a shift on my birthday. An elderly customer that I recognize comes in without any items to have altered; I assume she is picking up an order.)

Me: “Good afternoon Mrs. [name]! What can I do for you today?”

Customer: “I just wanted to come in to tell you what a lovely job you did on my pants last week, and to give you this!”

(She ‘ninjas’ a bag out of her purse, and places it on my counter. It is a little bag of gourmet chocolate squares!)

Me: “For me? Really?”

Customer: “Yes! You were so nice to me, and I thought it would be nice to give you a treat!”

Me: “Well, that was really nice of you! Wow! These are even all the flavors I like! It is my birthday today, so thank you for the present!”

Customer: “It is? It is my birthday today, too! How about that! Happy birthday!”

Me: “Happy birthday to you, too!”

Customer: “Well, goodbye! I will see you again sometime!”

Me: “Have a great afternoon, and I hope so! Bye!”