You Have To Laugh About The New Scarf

| Kildare, Ireland | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(A customer has seen a scarf that she likes, and wants to buy two identical pairs. Unfortunately there are only two of the same style in stock.)

Customer: “But I don’t like this one…”

Me: “Um… they’re identical.”

Customer: “No they’re not! I want two like this one!”

Me: “I’m sorry, miss, they are the exact same pattern and the exact same colour. There is absolutely no difference. Look, I’ll compare them… see?”

Customer: “Do you think I’m stupid? DO YOU? This one is a darker shade. I want the lighter shade. I AM NOT AN IDIOT!”

Me: “I’m sorry; maybe it’s the lighting. I’ll just grab another from the stock room, and I’ll be right back.”

(I hide in the stockroom for a minute with her second scarf, doing nothing. I then come back out with the exact same scarf.)

Me: “I have found one just like the other one.”

Customer: “See? I knew they were different! This third one is perfect!”

(She buys them both.)

How To Keep Your Days From Drag(ging)-On

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I’m working at my teller window when a client with a bandaged hand comes up with a deposit.)

Me: “Hello! Welcome to [bank]. I see that you hurt your hand; were you fighting with a dragon?”

Client: “Yes, and it won.”

Me: “Was it a big dragon?”

Client: “No, it was a little one. But he didn’t play fair. He used fire!”

Me: “Oh, no! Well, better luck to you next time. Here’s your receipt. Have a wonderful day!”

Client: “You too! Thanks!” *walks out the door*

(My boss, who has been standing behind me the whole time, finally speaks up.)

Boss: “That was not normal…”

There’s Nothing To Fear But Beer By Itself

| Manteo, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(During the night shift at the 24-hour gas station, it’s against policy to have the store open from midnight to five if you’re working alone. My coworker hasn’t shown up, so I am doing some cleaning while the store is temporarily closed and locked. A customer bangs angrily on the door. After several mimes of miming ‘Sorry!’ and pointing to the ‘Closed’ sign, I open the door a crack, figuring she might be in trouble or have run out of gas.)

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Open the door!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we’re closed. I’m not allowed to be open from midnight to five.”

Customer: “You’re CLOSED?!”

Me: “Yes! Well… is it an emergency?”

Customer: “It is an emergency! I need beer!”