No Meat In Their Brain

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | July 19, 2013

(I’m waiting in line to get a sandwich when I overhear this conversation between a customer in line ahead of me and the employee behind the counter.)

Customer: “What kind of meat comes on the vegetarian sub?”

Employee: “Uh… the vegetarian sub doesn’t have any meat on it, ma’am. That’s why it’s called the vegetarian sub.”

Customer: “Well, that sounds bland and boring as h***. Who the h*** would eat that?”

Employee: “A vegetarian?”

Customer: “Well I’m a vegetarian, and I wouldn’t eat a sub with no meat on it!”

Employee: “Uh… how can you be a vegetarian if you eat meat, ma’am?”

Customer: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Employee: “Vegetarians are people who don’t eat meat.”

Customer: *snorts* “No they’re not, you idiot! A vegetarian is just someone who likes vegetables! It doesn’t mean you can’t eat meat too!”

Employee: “I’m pretty sure it means someone who ONLY eats vegetables, ma’am.”

Customer: “Whatever. I’m never eating here again. If you’re too f****** stupid to understand what a vegetarian is, you’d probably screw up my sandwich anyway!” *storms out*

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Reminder #2: Geeks Rule Themed Giveaway

Not Always Right | Right | July 18, 2013
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
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  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, August 7!

Not As Happy As A Clam

| ME, USA | Right | July 18, 2013

(My friend and I are at a local market picking up chicken for her graduation party. While we’re waiting to pay, the phone rings and the cashier has to answer.)

Cashier: “Good afternoon… I’m afraid we are sold out of clams right now… well we get a shipment in tomorrow afternoon… tomorrow afternoon… no we are sold out right now… yes we get some tomorrow afternoon… around 1 pm or so… uhm we’ll have them until they’re sold out… no we are sold out right now… why? It’s been very busy with the warm weather.” *sighs* “Tomorrow afternoon… well, I’m really sorry that we don’t have any right now, but we’ve sold out. Okay there’s a seafood store in town, bye.”

(The cashier hangs up and looks annoyed.)

Cashier: “Sorry… just the chicken?”

Friend: *jokingly* “Yes but do you have clams?”

Cashier: “Get out.”

Friend: “But whhhyyy! I want some noooooooowww!”

Cashier: “Well you’re gonna have to wait; sucks to be you!”

Friend: “You wanted to say that to the person on the phone didn’t you?”

Cashier: “You have no idea.”

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No Common Scents

| North Riverside, IL, USA | Right | July 18, 2013

(I work at a store that specializes in body-care; lotions, perfumes, shower gel, all that good smelling stuff. I’m at the register, and three customers come up to check out.)

Me: “Hi ladies, did you find everything you were looking for today?”

(All three of them ignore me for the most part, save for some brief nods. Eventually, as I’m ringing up their purchase, they start talking amongst themselves about their purchases.)

Customer #1: “What fragrance is this?”

Customer #2: “It’s Pink Chiggon; it says right on the label!”

Customer #1: “Chiggon? I can’t read that!”

Customer #2: “It’s right there on the label, girl!”

Customer #3: “It’s not Chiggon, it’s CHITTOF.”

Customer #1: “Chittof?”

Customer #3: “Yea!”

(All this time, I’ve been ringing them up in silence and ever-growing amusement. Finally, I decide to pipe up.)

Me: “Ma’am, it’s Pink Chiffon.”

All Three: “That’s what I said!”

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New Degrees Of Stupidity

| WA, USA | Right | July 18, 2013

(I work in a clothing store at an outlet mall where we get a lot of Canadian customers. It was particularly cold on the day this occurred. Two teenage girls walk into my store.)

Me: “Hey, how are you girls doing this morning? Are you staying warm?”

Girl #1: “We’re trying!”

Me: “When I came into the store from my car this morning, it was 18 degrees! That’s FREEZING!”

Girl #1: “Yeah it is… Wait, how did you know we were from Canada?”

Me: “…I didn’t…”

Girl #1: “But how did you know we needed Celsius instead of Fahrenheit?”

Me: “Uh… that was Fahrenheit.”

Girl #2: *laughs at her friend* “Wow! Now this girl probably thinks we’re stupid! Good job!”

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