Not Part Of The 99 Per Cent

| Glendale, AZ, USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(I’m currently working the front checkout and a man walks up to purchase his items, I scan all the items and bag them.)

Me: “That will be $19.86.”

Customer: “That’s way too much. You must have scanned it wrong.”

Me: “No, everything is there.”

(I then show him the screen so he can see.)

Customer: “That can’t be right. If that is $5.00, and that is $3.00—”

Me: “But it isn’t. They are $5.99 and $3.99—”

Customer: “Hold on! Let me show you.”

(The customer gets a pen and paper from my checkout and starts adding it up.)

Customer: “See, $5.00 plus $3.00 plus $7.00 equals $15.00. It’s showing up wrong.”

Me: “But it is $5.99, $3.99 and $7.99. It makes a difference.”

(By now, several other customers are waiting, so I pull out a calculator to show him.)

Me: “$5.99 plus $3.99 plus $7.99 plus sales tax comes out to $19.86.”

Customer: “Well, you NEVER mentioned SALES TAX!”

(The customer pays for the items and leaves. I begin helping the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “Well, that was dumb.”

1 Thumbs
1,706
VOTES

This Movie Is The Bee’s Knees

| IL, USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(Our library has a new program where we showcase an artist’s work in our park next door. The first choice of art was a giant head made of discarded wood. After it was replaced, I have this conversation with a maintenance page.)

Page: “I like the new sculpture much better. The giant head was a bit weird.”

Me: “Yeah, it reminded me of The Wicker Man.”

Page: “What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a horror movie. The newer one has Nicolas Cage—”

(Suddenly, a library patron nearby begins shouting.)

Patron: “Not the bees! NOT THE BEES!”

Page: “I have got to see this movie.”

1 Thumbs
1,435
VOTES

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

| USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

(She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
Cause For Pregnant Pause

1 Thumbs
2,249
VOTES

Acting Hypertext

| Denver, CO, USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(I take escalated calls for a major cell phone provider.)

Caller: “My son received a text from a wrong number, so I had his number changed. The lady I was speaking to waived the $15 fee, but we had to program the new number in, so I want a $50 credit.”

(Note: it was one text asking for class notes, sent to the wrong number.)

Me: “I apologize that you received a text from a wrong number, and I’m glad we could help, but we can’t give a credit for programming a phone.”

Caller: *high-pitched, unintelligible, wordless shrieking*

Me: “Ma’am, please stop yelling at me.”

Caller: *shrieking doubles in volume*

Me: “Ma’am, this is solving nothing.”

Caller: *starts growling*

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to disconnect this call of you keep treating me this way. I don’t appreciate being yelled at.”

Caller: *calmly* “I’d like to speak to your supervisor.”

(Later…)

Supervisor: “Thanks for that call. I had to hang up on her. That was fun!”

1 Thumbs
2,050
VOTES

Hear Her Evil, See Her Evil, Speak Her Evil

| USA | Right | November 19, 2013

(One of my coworkers has partial hearing loss in her right ear, and has a medical condition that has caused her to lose almost all of her peripheral vision in her right eye. On this day, she’s putting away a cartload of items and just happens to be working directly under a speaker. A customer approaches her from the right, and speaks very, very softly.)

Customer: *very softly* “Excuse me; where are your bedsheets?”

Coworker: *doesn’t hear her and keeps working*

Customer: “Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?!”

(Suddenly, the customer KICKS my coworker in the hip. The kick is so hard that my coworker has to catch herself so she doesn’t fall over.)

Customer: “How DARE you ignore me?!”

Coworker: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am! I didn’t see you.”

Customer: “Bulls***! I was standing right here! Everyone has peripheral vision!”

Coworker: “Except for people with vision problems, ma’am. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Then you should’ve heard me!”

Coworker: “I also have partial hearing loss, and that…” *points up at the ceiling* “…is a speaker.”

Customer: “Well, you should be checking every direction for customers every five seconds!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with? I don’t actually work on the sales floor; I work in the stock room, and I have to get back…”

(My coworker ends up helping the customer and taking her to the bedsheets section. However, later I hear the customer complaining to my manager.)

Customer: “…and she just ignored me! And then she kicked me and called me a b****!”

Manager: “I’m so, so so sorry! I’ve never seen her act like that.”

Me: “…Sir?”

Manager: “Not now.”

Me: “But I witnessed the incident.”

Customer: *goes pale* “I didn’t see you anywhere nearby!”

Me: “I was ten feet away, in the clothing racks. Ma’am, YOU kicked HER when you thought she was ignoring you and yelled at her.”

Manager: *lightbulb goes on* “She was on [Coworker]’s right, wasn’t she?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Manager: *to the customer* “Well, ma’am, under these circumstances I can’t give you any discounts, nor will I. I’m not giving you anything for free, and I’m going to call corporate myself to tell them what happened. I’ve got video cameras and an employee witness. You assaulted one of my associates. Get out of my store!”

(The customer did try to call corporate. When they hung up on her, she called the cops, who reviewed the tape and nearly arrested her!)

1 Thumbs
3,188
VOTES
Page 1,909/3,920First...1,9071,9081,9091,9101,911...Last
« Previous
Next »