Taking Account Of The Nice Attitude

| FL, USA | Right | July 22, 2013

(I have some problems with my cell phone bill being charged almost double what it is supposed to be.)

Me: “Okay, my account number is [number], and it says I’ve paid everything off!”

Customer Service #1: “Uh, no ma’am. That account was closed.”

Me: “What? When!”

Customer Service #1: “On the 13th. It says right here. Now, you owe $300 for account number [different number]. Honestly, you can see this all online.”

Me: “Um, no I can’t. I can see the info for account number [first number], but I don’t have an account with [second number].”

Customer Service #1: “Oh, you can’t see it? Let me transfer you to someone that can help with the website.”

Me: “What? No! Don’t transfer me!”

(She transfers me before I finish talking. At this point I am extremely annoyed. When the next person comes on the line, I am more than a little rude.)

Me: “Okay, here is what is going on…”

(I explain the whole long process.)

Me: “Now, why is there a different account number there, than what I have?”

Customer Service #2: “Okay, I see here that you put in a transfer of ownership, yes?”

Me: “Yes, it was my brother’s, and now it’s mine.”

Customer Service #2: “See, that’s why. Since you transferred it to your name, we had to cancel the old account and create a new one. The contracts transferred as is.”

Me: “Oh, that makes sense. I wish someone had told me that would happen, though. But why is it so high?”

Customer Service #2: “Let me see, huh. With your plan and discount, it should only come out to be about half of what you’re being charged. That is weird. Oh, here it is. For some reason it charged you for last month as well, but you paid that off on the other account, right? It shows a zero balance to me.”

Me: “Yes, I paid off last month, and that month was higher because I got a new phone.”

Customer Service #2: “Let me talk to my supervisor, and see if we can fix this issue for you.”

(I am put on hold for a few minutes.)

Customer Service #2: “Good news! My supervisor okay-ed me to remove the excess charges. Your new total comes out be $200. The reason it’s still a little high is because of the transfer of ownership fee, and your late fees for not paying on time.”

Me: “Thanks, but is there anyway you can remove the late fees? I’ve always used the automatic payments, and didn’t know I’d have to link to a new account.”

Customer Service #2: “Okay, since you were not notified you would have to make payments to this new account, and it shows here you have never been late with your payment before, I can waive those too.”

Me: “Oh, my God. Thank you so much.”

Customer Service #2: *a little surprised* “Uh, no problem, ma’am. I’m here to help.”

Me: “No, seriously, I know I was very rude and short with you before, and you’ve been nothing but patient with me.”

Customer Service #2: “Uh, you are very welcome, ma’am. Um, is there anything else I can help you with?”

Me: “I think that’s everything, but thanks again so much for helping me out.”

Customer Service #2: “You’re welcome, and have a nice day.”

(I think she forgot to disconnect the call at the right time, because I hear this right after:)

Customer Service #2: “Hey! The lady I just got apologized for being rude to me earlier, and thanked me for helping her!”

Customer Service #2’s Colleague: “Really? That’s never happened to me!”

Customer Service #2: “I know right?”

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Don’t Buy This, Brad Pitt

| Right | July 22, 2013

GatorMachetePro

Tip Off God

| Right | July 22, 2013

odd_receipt_18_spoof

Look Into Your Heart You Know It To Be True

| Lexington, KY, USA | Right | July 22, 2013

(I’m checking out my items at the front of a store, when a couple bursts in. The girlfriend is clearly upset at her boyfriend.)

Girlfriend: “You really expect me to be all right with you hanging out with your friends on our one-year anniversary?!”

Boyfriend: “It’s been a tradition of my friends to do this for over six years! I can take you out any weekend, but [name of his friend] only gets his brother’s VHS copy of the original Star Wars movies once a year, and so we have a marathon! Come on! It has all the original scenes and characters before Lucas screwed it up!”

Girlfriend: “You all are such nerds! Who cares about the changes! If anything, it made the movies better!”

Boyfriend: “You haven’t even seen the movies!”

Girlfriend: “No real girl has! I haven’t, and…” *points at me* “…she hasn’t! Fine! Go ahead with your stupid marathon! I don’t care anymore! Do whatever the h*** you want!”

(The girlfriend storms down an aisle.)

Me: *imitating Admiral Ackbar* “It’s a trap!” *imitating C-3PO* “Let the girlfriend win.”

(Not only did the boyfriend crack up, but the check-out guy gave me his number!)

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The Cake Buyer Is A Lie

| MI, USA | Right | July 22, 2013

(I work in the deli right beside the bakery. I witness an exchange between a customer and the bakery supervisor.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to pick up a cake order. It should be under [name].”

Supervisor: “Sure, let me go get it.”

(She goes into the cooler to retrieve the cake, and brings it out to the customer.)

Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am. Here it is.”

Customer: “Oh, by the way, I already paid for the cake when I ordered it. So I can just walk out with it, right?”

Supervisor: “Well, I don’t see a receipt with your order slip ma’am. Do you happen to have one with you? We usually ask for the receipt to be returned to us so that we know you paid for it.”

Customer: “No! No one told me that I had to do that! But I already paid for it!”

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but everyone who works here knows that we always ask for a receipt to be returned to us. If you don’t have a receipt, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this now.”

Customer: “I told you that I already paid for this cake!”

(The customer waves a slip of paper in the air.)

Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, that paper you’re waving around just means we took your order. It does not mean that you paid for it.”

Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS! IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH!”

Supervisor: “That slip of paper just means you placed an order with us. It doesn’t prove that you already paid for your cake. Anyone who places an order with us could bring that slip of paper back, lie and say they already paid for their order. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, but I can’t just let you leave with this cake without proof of purchasing it.”

Customer: *leaves in a huff without the cake*

Related:
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 3
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2

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