The Question Is Timeless, Not Ageless

| Antwerp, Belgium | Right | November 15, 2013

(My mum and I are waiting in line to buy our ticket. We are behind two older ladies.)

Old Lady: “No, I’m not telling you my age. I tell you, it is most impolite for you to ask.”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, ma’am; I did not want to offend, but you do—”

Old Lady: “Well, you were. You don’t ask a lady her age!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, but—”

Old Lady: “Give us our tickets already!”

(The cashier finishes the transaction, and still a bit undignified, both ladies leave. My mum and I approach the cashier.)

My Mum: “I have no problem telling you I am over 55, and have proof for you too. Now, I believe you do have senior citizen discount for which I qualify?”

Cashier: “Certainly, ma’am. So that will be one senior citizen and one adult?”

(Both ladies, clearly above 55, hear my mum speak; realizing their error, they look at their tickets and then to the cashier as to judge their chances of getting money back. With some disappointment, they decide against it.)

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Crazy Is On The Menu

| TX, USA | Right | November 15, 2013

(I’ve received a complaint from a very unhappy customer, which has put me in a terrible mood. Thirty minutes later, I’m still not feeling too great when four young teens, three girls and one boy, walk into the restaurant. The boy and one of the girls get ready to order while the two other girls sit down and watch.)

Me: “Hello! What can I get for you?”

Girl #1: “Uh… so many options.”

Boy: “Come on, what do you want?”

Girl #1: “I don’t know; I’m still deciding.”

(There is a pause as the girl continues to look at the menu.)

Boy: “Come on! Just decide already. Just get like a ham or turkey or something.”

Girl #1: “But I don’t want that.”

Boy: “God, I don’t know why this is so difficult for you! They’re just sandwiches! Just pick SOMETHING!”

(The boy’s mannerisms and speech seem very unnatural and rehearsed, and the girls are trying not to laugh, so I can tell by this point that they’re just playing a joke.)

Boy: “You do this EVERY TIME. You’ve done this every time we came in here for two years! TWO YEARS you’ve put me through this! I don’t know why I put up with it! You know what? I’m done! I’m sick of this!”

(He exits the store dramatically, and his girlfriend runs after him.)

Girl #1: “Babe, wait! Come back! I’m SORRY!”

(Once she leaves, the two other girls get up and slowly exit the store.)

Girl #2: “I’m so sorry. No sandwiches.”

Girl #3: “Sorry.”

(I call after them as they leave.)

Me: “Bravo! Brava! But work on your acting a bit!”

(I’m sure they were just trying to weird me out, but strangely enough, their little performance cheered me up and took my mind off of the unhappy customer!)

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This Is Soda-Pressing, Part 2

| Staten Island, NY, USA | Right | November 15, 2013

(I am standing in line when a customer comes up behind me with two boxes of about 20 cans of soda each.)

Customer: “Can I go ahead of you?”

Me: “You want to cut in line?”

Customer: “No, I just need to talk to the woman in front of you!”

(The customer in front of me doesn’t seem to know him. However ,he only has two items, and I have forgotten to grab oranges anyway, so I say sure and dash back to the produce section. When I return, I hear the tail end of their conversation.)

Customer: “So if you let me put my soda on your bill, I can get a discount because you’re spending more than $20, and I’ll pay for the soda!”

Customer In Front: “Okay, fine.”

(The cashier finishes ringing the customer in front’s order, makes a note of the price, and scans the two boxes of soda. The customer in front of me pays her share, and then the cashier turns to the man with the soda, after carefully subtracting the customer in front’s cost from the total.)

Cashier: “You owe $17.70.”

Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous. It’s too much! I’m not paying that!”

Cashier: “Are you kidding? You can’t do that.”

Customer: “Just take it off!”

Cashier: “You cut in line, held everybody up while you explained this, made a big fuss, and now you’re going to hold everybody up again while we call a manager to void this?”

Customer: “F*** you! I didn’t do anything wrong.” *storms out*

 

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Deference To The Difference

, | Plano, TX, USA | Right | November 15, 2013

(I am working drive thru.)

Customer: “I want orange chicken and fried rice.”

Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like that as a one side/one entree bowl, or as a one side/two entree plate with double orange chicken?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “The bowl is $6.05 and the plate is $7.13.”

Customer: “No, not the price! What is the difference?”

Me: “Well, one has a single side and a single entree and it comes in a bowl, and the other has a single side and two entrees and it comes on a plate.”

Customer: “But, what’s the difference?”

A Man Needs His Nectar

| Finland | Right | November 15, 2013

(I go to my local store after a game of soccer, still wearing my full goalkeeper kit. The cashier and I have met several times but don’t actually know each other at all. I am buying beer.)

Cashier: “[My Name], you can’t buy beer!”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “You come here looking so sporty and I thought you’d buy something healthy or nice, and you buy beer!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll buy something nice.”

(I turn around, grab a bunch of flowers, pay for them, and give them to her.)

Me: “There you go!”

Cashier: “What? For me?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “But… but why? No one has ever bought me flowers before.”

Me: “Well, you told me to buy something nice, and as you looked tired and a bit down I thought that it would be nice to buy you flowers.”

Cashier: “Thank you! This was so nice of you!”

Me: “May I now drink beer tonight?”

Cashier: “With both hands, if you like!”

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