Forbidden Fruits (& Veggies)

| Washington, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(A middle-aged woman, her mother, and her three year old walk into my sandwich shop.)

Mother: *to child* “What do you want today?”

Child: “A samminch!”

Mother: “Okay, what kind?”

Child: “A samminch!”

Mother: “Do you want turkey?”

Child: “NO!”

Mother: “Do you want ham?”

Child: “NO!”

Mother: “I AIN’T RAISIN’ NO VEGETARIAN!”

Fractional Intelligence

| Texas, USA | Math & Science

Customer: “I need to know the height of this refrigerator.”

Me: “Sure, it’s 69 3/4 in.”

Customer: “Is 3/4 more or less than a half?”

Me: “It’s slightly more.”

Customer: “No, that can’t be right!”

How To Make An Employee’s Day

| New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

(I work at a call center. As I’m working, I overhear my coworker talking another call.)

Coworker: “Hi, my name is [name]. I’m calling from [organization]…”

(As usual, I tune her out since it’s just a script and focus on my own call. However, after a few minutes, she hangs up and excitedly speaks to everyone in the room.)

Coworker: “Guys! She used my name!”

Manager: “What?”

Coworker: “She used my name! When she hung up, she said, ‘Have a nice day, [name]’!”

(To this day, whenever the room’s getting a little down, someone always tells the story of the customer who used her name!)

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Language That Belongs In The Toilet

| Apple Valley, MN, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(I’m stocking shelves when a customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have any a** wipe?”

Me: “What?”

Customer: “You know, a** wipe?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Toilet paper?”

Me: “Oh! Aisle 6.”

(The customer smiles and leaves. I’m from the area, so I can confirm that “a** wipe” isn’t a regional term for toilet paper!)

Weekend Roundup: When Customers Attack!

, , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups, Wild & Unruly

When Customers Attack! This week, we share stories of unruly customers who prefer (violent) action over words!

  1. Bull In A China Shop:
    Sticks & stones may break my bones, but naked, guitar-throwing customers can really hurt me!
  2. Acute Mental Failure:
    HULK CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOSPITAL DOOR! HULK SMASH!
  3. (Full) Front(al) Desk:
    Can’t check into your hotel room, lady? Just mentally check out by ripping off your clothes and running in circles!
  4. Fudge In Flight:
    A customer airs their fudge frustrations by sending their ice cream sundae airborne.
  5. Marriage: The Ultimate Slippery Slope:
    Here’s to throwing your belongings in the air like you just don’t care!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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