A Good Icebreaker

| Lincoln, NE, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Hello, I’d like a hot blended mocha, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but I can’t make you a hot blended mocha, I’d be happy to make you an ice blended mocha, or a hot or iced mocha, but I can’t make a hot blended mocha.”

Customer: “What? Why can’t I get a hot blended mocha? It’s what I want!”

Me: “Well, a blended drink is blended with ice, so I can’t really make it hot once it’s blended with ice.”

Customer: “Well why not? Why can’t you just blend the drink and then heat it up for me?”

Me: “I guess I could do that ma’am, but then it wouldn’t really be a blended drink anymore. And it probably wouldn’t taste very good, to be perfectly honest.”

Customer: “I just want a hot blended mocha. I don’t understand why this is so difficult!”

Me: *giving up* “Okay, ma’am, you got it.”

Customer: “Finally! Thank you!”

(I proceed to make her a regular mocha.)

Me: “Here’s your hot blended mocha ma’am.”

Customer: “Mmm! Perfect! Now just remember this for next time!”

They Must Have Learned From Vader’s Wheezing Problem

| Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

(An angry looking young couple storms into the convenience store.)

Man: “You sell cigarettes?”

Me: “Yes.”

Man: “You smoking b******!”

Me: “I don’t smoke. I’m not the one that picks out the–”

Woan: “That is f***ing illegal!”

Me: “No, actually, it’s not.”

(The woman pulls something out of her purse and writes a message on it. She slams it on the counter and she and her husband storm off. I look at it later and it is a picture of a Death Star. The message reads ‘This is coming to get you!’.)

Out Of Tune-a With The Menu

| San Jose, CA, USA | Food & Drink, Uncategorized

(I am working as a waitress in a sushi restaurant. A handicapped customer comes in and orders 5 rolls off of our special rolls menu. I bring the customer her food.)

Customer: “What is this?”

Me: “These are the rolls you ordered, ma’am.”

Customer: “I didn’t order these. I don’t eat fish.”

Me: “Ma’am, you specifically pointed at these rolls. The ingredients are mainly tuna and salmon. It is listed on the menu.”

Customer: “I don’t eat fish! You are discriminating against me because I am in a wheelchair. I didn’t order this!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is exactly what you ordered. If you don’t eat fish, you should have ordered chicken or beef teriyaki.”

Customer: “I don’t eat fish! Bring me my rolls!”

Me: “These are your rolls.”

Customer: “I want to talk to your manager.”

Manager: “Ma’am, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Your waitress brought me the wrong rolls. I want my rolls.”

Manager: “This looks to be exactly what you ordered.”

Customer: “I don’t eat fish!”

Manager: “It’s listed with fish on the menu, but okay, we’ll take these back. What would like instead?”

(The customer orders the same rolls.)

Manager: “Ma’am, you just ordered the exact same rolls.”

Customer: “They have fish in them?”

Manager: “Yes.”

Customer: “Is that because I’m handicapped?”

Manager: “No, ma’am.”

Customer: “I’m leaving and I’m not giving you a cent of my money. You shouldn’t falsely advertise. You should say when there will be fish!”

Manager: *to me* “You hungry?”

Wireless, Clueless, Hopeless, Part 6

| San Jose, CA, USA | Technology, Uncategorized

Caller: “I called to let you know the power is out so you may see alerts.”

Me: “Thank you. I will notify the team. Is there anything else I can assist you with?”

Caller: “Yes. I can’t connect to the internet on my laptop. I can’t find the wireless.”

Me: “Sir, the power is out, so the internet is also down.”

Customer: “Yes, but my laptop still has batteries.”

Related:
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 5
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 4
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 3
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
Wireless Clueless & Hopeless

Acting Juvie-nile

Culver City, CA, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(While stocking the shelves I overhear a young boy from a few aisles over. He sounds very distressed.)

Boy: “What?! Are you freaking kidding me? Nuh-uh! No way!”

(The kid sounded like he was really in trouble, so my co-worker and I go to investigate. He is sitting in front of the back-to-school section with his mother.)

Boy: “I have to go back to school!? What do you mean I have to go back?! I just got out!”