First Aisle Problems

| Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Geography

(I’m a customer in line waiting to pay, when suddenly the registers freeze and have to reboot. There are two impatient customers in line behind me.)

Employee: “Sorry, but the registers just froze. Please be patient while we reboot them.”

Impatient Customer #1: “What did she say?”

Impatient Customer #2: “The registers froze.”

Impatient Customer #1: “Ugh, it’s like living in a third world country!”

I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11

| PA, USA | Books & Reading, Crazy Requests

(I’m a regular at a particular location of a major book store chain and know where most of the books are. I usually get something at the cafe and a few books, and make a habit of re-shelving everything myself once I’m done. As I’m re-shelving books one evening, a man approaches me.)

Man: “You. I want to find a book for my wife.”

Man’s Wife: “I just need new tricks or tips on Sudoku.”

Me: “Oh! I love Sudoku. Well, it looks like you’re in the right section. Did you not spot anything you like?”

Man: “Can’t you just look up what she needs for her?”

(I smile and remain generally pleasant, mainly because I think this is funny every time it happens.)

Me: “I don’t actually work here, but if you have the title, sir, just go to the service counter right there. They can find it for you.”

Man: “I just want a book my wife can look at right now. Why can’t you just get it for us?”

Me: “Well… these are books of more puzzles. Um… I don’t actually work here, sir. But if you’re having a hard time finding a suitable book, you can always Google up keywords like ‘sudoku tips’ or ‘solving sudoku’.”

Man: “Yes, but do you have it in a book?”

Me: “Sir, if you would go to the service counter and ask, I’m sure they can find it for you.”

Man: “You! Why can’t you find it!?”

Me: “Sir, I don’t work here. If you go to the counter, an employee could help you look something up in their computer.”

Man: “You’re not going to help us find this book?”

Me: “I wouldn’t be sure where to start, but an employee—”

(An employee that has been walking toward us in the last part of the conversation finally comes up next to me.)

Employee: “I can take over.”

Me: “—can take over from here. Thanks, bye!”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

All’s Well That Messengers Well

| Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Money

(I work at a healthcare store. Whenever we have promos such as gift cards when purchasing more than a certain dollar amount, we call our regular customers a week in advance to let them know. After each call, either actually talking to the customer or leaving a message, we put a check next to their name on our list. One cranky regular misses the promo weekend and comes in three weeks later.)

Customer: “Hello, [My Name]. I’m just parked outside. Can you get me my products?”

Me: “Sure, I’ll be right back.”

Customer: “Don’t you have any promos? You haven’t had one since December.”

Me: “No, I know it’s been a while.”

(I make sure not to mention the promo three weeks prior, as I know she missed it, and I am sure she will throw a fit. I go to the back to get her products. As I am coming back, I see the customer yelling at my coworker. She then turns to me.)

Customer: “This is so disappointing! I told you guys to call me every time you have a promo. [Coworker] said that you had one three weeks ago!”

Me: “Oh, we did call you. I’m sure we did. You’re the first one we call.”

Customer: “No, I did not get any call. No message. This is the second time!”

Me: “I remember the first time you said your daughter forgot to tell you.”

Customer: “Well, this time I really didn’t get any call! No message, nothing!”

(The customer goes on and on as I am ringing her in, and I am just nodding. She’s always in a hurry, so I need to ring her in as I am listening. I can see the other customers looking at her.)

Me: “I really apologize, but as you see here on our call list, I called all these customers including you. Your name even has an asterisk ’cause you’re the first one we call.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t get anything! There could be something wrong with my answering machine, but I doubt it! You guys owe me!”

(The customer storms out of the store. The next day she calls.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Store]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Oh [My Name], this is [Customer]. I just called to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I asked my daughter if she knew of any promos you guys had, and she just gasped because she forgot to tell me that you guys called.”

Me: “That’s okay Mrs. [Customer]. It’s not a problem.”

Customer: “Okay, thank you. Bye!”