Discounted Hell To Pay

| SLC, Utah, USA | Money, Musical Mayhem, Religion, Top

(I work for a company that sells musical equipment. I am taking a call from an older gentleman who tells me that he is a priest. He has been very nice for the duration of the call, and we are almost finished placing his order.)

Priest: “Now, could you give me 15% off on this? You would be doing the Lord’s work if you could get me 15% off my order!”

Me: “Well, I don’t think I have a 15% off coupon, right now. I’ll check and see.”

(I put him on hold, and check my available coupons. There is only a 10% coupon. I return to the customer with this.)

Me: “So, I couldn’t get you 15% off. I do have a 10% coupon, though!”

Priest: “Child, do you what to go to Hell?!”

(I am taken aback.)

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Priest: “Hell, Child. If you don’t give me 15% off my order, your soul will rot in Hell for all eternity!”

Me: “I’m a red-head, sir; I don’t have to worry about that. Now, is there anything else I can add to your order today?”

Placebo Me, Part 7

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A mother and her six-year-old child approach the concession at around 7:00 PM.)

Child: “I want a coke!”

Mother: “No, sweetie, you can’t have caffeine. Would you like some root beer instead?”

Child: “Okay!”

Me: “Oh, actually, this brand of root beer does have caffeine.”

Mother: “Shush! Work with me here.”

Me: “Um… okay?”

(I proceed to make the drink. The child wanders a short distance away, looking at a poster.)

Me: “So, why do you not want him to know it has caffeine?”

Mother: “Well, it’s all psychological, like a placebo. I don’t want him up all night!”

Related:
Placebo Me, Part 6
Placebo Me, Part 5
Placebo Me, Part 4
Placebo Me, Part 3
Placebo Me, Part 2
Placebo Me

She Has A Phone To Pick With You

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Top

(I am helping a lady pick a bracelet for herself. She has kept her phone on my table.)

Customer: “Yes, this one will do nicely.”

Me: “Great! So you will be buying this one?”

Customer: “Yup. You have some nice collections here. Thanks for all your help.”

(She picks up her phone, puts it in her pocket, and I proceed to check her out. Suddenly, she starts looking for something.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you missing something?”

Customer: “Yes, my phone! I had kept it right on this table here.”

Me: “Oh, I think you kept that in your pocket a few minutes ago.”

Customer: “No! I would have remembered if I did. You stole it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but you are mistaken. I was with you the entire time. Why don’t you check your pocket?”

Customer: “No way! So you can steal something else? I know you sort of people. You appear all nice outside, while you steal from paying customers like me! I will report you to the police!”

Me: “How about I call your phone from my phone, so you can find it?”

(We try my suggestion, and sure enough her phone rings from her pocket.)

Customer: “Uhm… I…”

(She goes red in the face and disappears. She returns a couple of days later with a gift card for me. She apologizes for her behavior, and for my trouble, and goes away. To that lady, if she happens to read this: we all make mistakes, but it is rare that we accept our mistakes. Thank you for doing so, and making my day!)