I Only Speak Sale

| Redding, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “What does ‘repackage’ mean?”

Me: “It means that an item has been re-packaged.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that the item is no longer in the original packaging that it came in. It’s either because it was a return, or because the packaging got destroyed.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that we have discounted it for you to compensate for the missing package.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that the item is cheaper now than it was originally.”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Me: “It means that it’s on clearance.”

Customer: “Oh! Why didn’t you just say that?”

You Can’t Have Their Cake And Eat It Too

| USA | Food & Drink

(A family is holding a small birthday party. They bring their own cake and ask me to bring the birthday cake out with their ordered dishes. Now, I’m serving another group of customers.)

Customer: *points to birthday group* “Can we have what they got?”

Me: “Sure.”

(The dishes are prepared and I bring them out to the table.)

Customer: “You missed the cake.”

Me: “That was their birthday cake. It isn’t on our menu.”

Customer: “But you brought it out to them.”

Me: “Yes, because it was theirs to begin with.”

Customer: “So, can I have one too?”

Me: “It isn’t ours. They got it elsewhere.”

Customer: “I asked for everything they have.”

Me: “We do not have the cake. It was their own.”

Customer: “But I want one!”

(This continues for several minutes, but they aren’t satisfied.)

Me: *giving up* “Sorry, we are sold out of cakes.”

Customer: “Why didn’t you just say so?!”

Before Pride, But After Prejudice

| Orem, UT, USA | Books & Reading

Customer: “Do you have Pride and Prejudice?”

Me: “Of course, it’s right over this way.”

(I grab a copy and hand it to her.)

Customer: “Was this written before or after the movie?”

Me: *caught off guard* “Um…before.”

Via The Aloha Landbridge, Of Course

| Texas, USA | Uncategorized

(I receive a call from a customer who lives in the continental United States.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [shipping company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I’m trying to make a ground shipment and the website won’t let me!”

(This company disables ground shipping if your account is late. I check the customer’s account and it is current.)

Me: “When did this start?”

Customer: “Do you think it could have anything with the shipment going to Hawaii?”

Me: “That’s probably it…”

Mirror, Mirror On The Wall And Not For Sale

, | St. Paul, MN, USA | Uncategorized

(I work in a second hand clothing store. The store has racks of clothes and a couple full length mirrors. A man walks in.)

Customer: “Where are your mirrors for sale?”

Me: “Um, we don’t sell mirrors.”

Customer: “What do you sell?”

Me: “Clothing. We’re a clothing store.”

Customer: “What kind of a place is this?!” *storms out*

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