Customer: “Do I have signal where I live?”
Me: “I would be happy to check for you. What is your city and state?”
Customer: “I live in Alamb-ma.”
Me: “What is the zip code where you live in Alabama?”
Customer: *gives me a zip code*
Me: “That zip code is a Georgia location. You wanted coverage for Alabama, correct?”
Customer: “Yes, but I don’t know the zip code, so I made one up.”
Me: “That’s fine. Let’s try searching by city name instead.”
Customer: “It begins with T-A-L-L…but…I don’t know the letters after that.”
Me: “Why don’t I just pull up the map for the entire state for you…”
(I work at a fast food restaurant gives customers their meals for free if they have been waiting a long time. This particular day, I’ve been told to void the next couple of cars. One girl in her 20s pulls up while talking on the phone.)
Me: “Hello! I’m sorry for your wait. Your meal is on the house.”
Customer: “Oh, really?! That’s awesome!”
Me: “There’s your meal! Have a great day.”
Customer: *into her phone* “Dude, [restaurant] just gave me my food for free! Yeah, and it was like a six dollar meal!” *quietly so we can’t hear* “I might be pregnant, but this just makes up for it!”
Attack Of The Tax! Tax season may be over in the U.S., but what happens when you mix clueless customers and too-high taxes? A ca-tax-trophe, that’s what!
- War Can Be Taxing:
The Revolutionary War of 2012: Founding Fathers doing revolutions in their graves due to a brainless populace!
- Taxation With Agitation:
It’s like the Boston Tea Party…except in a gas station…in Tennessee…
- Bacon, Lettuce, and Taxes:
We know that fast food customers will eat anything, but we never knew taxes could be tasty!
- Taxing Customers:
However you add things up, this retail customer is minus a few brain cells.
- Fortunately, It’s Raining Pork Barrels And Earmarks:
Wonder where your tax dollars go? To humongous, lake-covering umbrellas, of course!
PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!
PS #2: Read more roundups here!
(I’m working the drive through on a busy night and have just handed out a customer’s order. I’m saying “goodbye” when this conversation happens.)
Customer: “Does your left hip hurt?”
Me: *confused* “No…?”
Customer: “Oh, well, how about your throat?”
Me: *wondering what my hip has to do with my throat* “Nope.”
Customer: “Oh, well, that’s good. That’s very good.”
Me: “All right, have a nice night.”
(Please note that I am a young looking 21 year old. I am processing a transaction for an older gentleman.)
Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today, sir?”
Customer: “Are you…” *mumbles incoherently*
Me: *thinking he said something else* “Oh, yes, I’m new! I’m [name].”
Customer: “No, no, I asked if you were married.”
Me: “What? Um, no, I’m not married. Not yet.”
Customer: “Well, you’d better get on that.” *stares judgmentally and walks away*