Trying To Get Herself A-Wrist-Ed

| Virginia Beach, VA, USA | Right | December 4, 2013

(I am ordering coffee at a coffee shop located on my community college campus.)

Barista: “Hey, [My Name]. I love that bracelet you’re wearing!”

(The barista points to the silicone rainbow wristband on my right wrist.)

Me: “Thanks!”

Customer Behind Me: “Where did you get it?”

Me: “It was from a group that gave them out a couple years back. But they’re not doing them any more, due to financial problems.”

Customer Behind Me: “Oh, so I couldn’t get one?”

Me: “No, sorry.”

(The customer keeps eyeing the wristband as we wait for our drinks. It’s slightly strange but I don’t say anything.)

Barista: “[My Name], latte’s up!”

Me: “Thanks, [Barista’s Name]. You have a good—”

(As I reach for my drink, the customer behind me steps forward and starts actually pulling on my arm to get the wristband off. I’m right handed and my HOT drink ends up spilling all over the floor and her.)

Customer Behind Me: “I HATE ALL OF YOU! F*** THIS!”

(The customer runs away, while the barista and I just kind of blink for a while.)

Barista: “I have no words right now. I’ll make you another drink.”

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No Escape From Stupid Moments, Part 2

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Right | December 4, 2013

(I work in a three-level retail store, on the bottom floor. Access to the connected mall is only on the second and third floors. It’s a pretty big place, and sometimes customers get confused as to where to go or how to leave. One day a customer comes running up to my cash, pushing next to a customer I’m ringing in.)

Customer: “Come on. I want to leave!”

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “I want to go! I want to leave!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you need help with something?”

Customer: “I want to go. I’m in a hurry! I want to get out!”

(The customer is near screaming now, and she looks ready to snap.)

Me: “You want to leave the store?”

Customer: “Yes! How do I get out? I want to leave right now. I’m in a hurry!”

(I point at the two sets of large glass doors no more than twenty feet away, with the sun shining through them.)

Me: “Uh. The exit’s just right there, ma’am.”

Customer: “Where?!”

Me: “Right down there, ma’am. At the end of the aisle.”

(The customer runs down the aisle, looking as if someone is about to grab her and chain her to a fixture, and bursts out of the doors.)

Me: “…I guess when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.”

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No Escape From Stupid Moments

Drowning Hamster Requires Mouse To Mouse

| LA, USA | Right | December 4, 2013

(The small rodents are stored in aquariums with screen tops. A customer comes in and looks over the hamster tank.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yeah, what kinda fish dis be here?”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a fish. That is a hamster.”

Customer: “What kinda fish is a hamster? Is it one of the ocean things?”

Me: “Ma’am, hamsters are rodents. They are not any species of fish.”

Customer: “Where’s its water?”

Me: “In the bottle hanging on the side, right there.”

Customer: “You mean dat poor thing can’t even get in the water? What kind of place be keepin’ fish dat ain’t even in water? I ain’t spendin’ my money here. That’s cruelty. Shame on you!”

(The customer storms out of the store indignantly. I’m still confused.)

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Flip Flop Flop

| NM, USA | Right | December 4, 2013

(I work in a department store selling shoes. I’m all alone in my department one night. A rather bedraggled looking customer comes in, grabs a display sandal, and slams them on my counter.)

Customer: “I want to buy these.”

Me: “Okay. What size do you need?”

Customer: “Whatever. Just pick one.”

(I look down at his feet to estimate his size, and notice he is barefoot. I go back into the stock room and grab a pair of the sandals he wants. When I get back out to the counter, security is standing there waiting.)

Me: “Okay, sir. I grabbed you a nine. Do you want to try them on?”

Customer: “No. Just ring them up.”

Me: “Okay. That’ll be $107.80.”

(The customer rummages through his wallet for several minutes, and finally hands me $4.)

Me: “Thank you, sir. Now we just need $103.80.”

Customer: “I handed it to you, sweetie.”

Me: “You only handed me $4. That’s not enough for these shoes.”

Customer: “Oh, gosh, sweetie. I’m sorry. Here.”

(The customer hands me another stack of dollar bills, which I count. He’s still about $70 short.)

Me: “Okay. That’ll be another $70.”

Customer: “I already gave it to you!”

(I count out the total bills he handed me, and show him my screen showing the total. I grab a calculator and work out the difference for him.)

Customer: “I’M TELLING YOU, I ALREADY PAID YOU!”

Security: “You didn’t pay her enough, sir.”

Customer: “Screw this place!”

(The customer takes his money back and storms out the door.)

Me: *to security* “Well, that was interesting.”

Security: “I told him he couldn’t be in here without shoes, so he said he’d go buy some. Glad to see that worked out for him.”

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Red Light Bulb Moment

| Germany | Right | December 4, 2013

(I am in a recently opened restaurant. I overhear this conversation at the table next to me. At the table is a large family.)

Customer: “Has there ever been another restaurant in this building? The place looks so familiar.”

Waitress: “I do not know. The building has been vacant for many years.”

Customer: “I remember the stained glass windows and the spiral stairs. I am sure I have been here before.”

(Just then, another waiter passes the table.)

Waitress: “Do you know if there has ever been another restaurant in this place?”

Waiter: “No. Until they went out of business a few years ago this place was a brothel.”

(There is an awkward silence at the table.)

Read this story as a comic!

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