Yaoi Got To Be Kidding, Part 2

| Rapid City, SD, USA | Right | January 6, 2014

(I work at the local bookstore. I am trying to grow our small graphic novel and manga section so that it is worthwhile. A customer and his mom have stopped in to look around. He is about 16 years old.

Customer: “Mom, can I please get a new comic book?”

Customer’s Mom: “I don’t know. You just got one.”

(The mom looks over at me working at the register.)

Customer’s Mom: “Here’s the deal. Play your ringtone to her. If she can name the song or at least where it comes from, I will buy you a new comic book.”

(The customer’s son looks at his phone shyly as he looks for his ringtone. The music starts to play the theme song to ‘Robot Chicken.’)

Me: “Oh my god! That’s Robot Chicken!”

(I proceed to bock like a chicken with it. The customer’s mom looks at me incredulously and shakes her head.)

Customer’s Mom: “I made a deal.”

(They bought the comic book and are leaving. The mom is moaning loudly to her son.)

Customer’s Mom: “I can’t believe that the one person I point out knows exactly what it is! You’re everywhere! She doesn’t even look like she likes that kind of stuff!”

 

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Needs To Clean Up Her Act

| AK, USA | Right | January 6, 2014

(A girl of about 12 starts to examine a table of pajamas that I had just folded a few minutes ago. At first I’m afraid that she’ll make a mess of everything but she does her best at folding the stuff that she unfolded. Soon her friend comes and looks at the pajamas. However, unlike the other girl, she doesn’t fold the stuff again and just throws the stuff she looks at back on the table.)

Girl #1: “I, um, think the employees would like it if you folded the stuff instead of, um, setting it back unfolded.”

Girl #2: “It’s their job. They get paid to do it so it’s not my problem.”

Girl #1: *nervously* “Oh, er, but—”

Girl #2: “Drop it! It’s their job. They should be thankful I’m leaving these unfolded! It gives them a job so they can earn money!”

([Girl #2] proceeds to take a stack of pajamas and throw them onto the table, causing many to fall. I’m about to interject when [Girl #1] speaks.)

Girl #1: “So? Let’s say you have to clean the living room everyday, and your parents pay you for it.”

Girl #2: “But—”

Girl #1: “Shut up and listen! Let’s say you got it SPOTLESS and perfectly clean. And then your brother and his friend play video games for hours in there, spilling their snacks and leaving empty soda cans and wrappers everywhere. You don’t get paid extra to clean up that mess! And it would make you upset that you have to redo all that work! That’s what the employees probably feel like!”

Girl #2: “Whatever, b****.”

([Girl #2] leaves. [Girl #1] one proceeds to start cleaning up the mess.)

Me: “Don’t worry. I’ve got it. Thanks, though.”

Girl #1: “Sorry about her. She’s a jerk.”

Me: “It’s not a problem. I’ve had to pick up messes that are worse than this many times before.”

(Later, I see [Girl #2] talking to her dad.)

Girl #2: “And then she called me a b**** and walked off.”

Dad: “Really? That’s odd for her behavior. I should have known better than to let you guys shop alone.”

(Just then [Girl #1] walks up.)

Girl #1: “My mom will be here to pick me up, so you don’t need to give me a ride home Mr. [Last Name].”

Dad: “Is it true you called [Girl #2] a rude name?”

Girl #1: “What? No!”

Girl #2: *in fake tears* “Yeah. She, she yelled yelled at me, and called me rude names besides b****!”

Dad: “Stop saying that. Now, [Girl #1], I’m telling your mom and we’ll discuss this later.”

Girl #1: “But, I didn’t…”

([Girl #2] is smirking at [Girl #1] between her fake sobs. I step in.)

Me: “Sir, I actually witnessed the event.”

(As I explain the event to the dad, [Girl #1], who is on the verge of tears because of how upset she is, starts to feel better now that she has someone backing her up. [Girl #2] stops faking her tears and stops smirking.)

Dad: “Thanks.” *turns to [Girl #1]* “I’m terribly sorry.” *turns to [Girl #2]* “What’s gotten into you? You’re in deep trouble now!”

(I had to go, but I was happy to know that the younger girl didn’t get in trouble!)

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He’s Telling A Shaggy Dog Story

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Right | January 6, 2014

(I work for a major attorney service firm. Our job is to go out to businesses (usually medical) to copy records. I am a ‘stop setter,’ meaning that I set the appointments for our field agents. One of the field agents comes dashing into the office, his clothing disheveled, and panting.)

Me: “What happened?!”

Field Agent: “You wouldn’t believe it! I went to serve Doctor [Name] with a subpoena for records. I went to his home in Malibu, drove up the hill, and parked. Just as I got out of my convertible to go serve him, four huge Dobermans came charging around the corner and tried to kill me! I ran back, jumped into my car, zoomed down the hill and back here!”

Me: “Okay. I’ll call him.”

(I do just that.)

Me: “Dr. [Name]. This is [My Name] from [Copy Service]. Our field agent says he went to your home to serve a subpoena for the records on [legal case] and—”

Doctor: “Listen to me you dirty little s***! That field agent is LYING! My gate’s closed. NOBODY can get in. He was never chased by any dogs because I don’t HAVE any! I’m not home, so he couldn’t have found me. Besides, the dogs were TIED UP! I can see them right now from my WINDOW!”

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All Computers Come With Cache

| UK | Right | January 6, 2014

Customer: “How do I get money out of this account?”

Coworker: “It’s an internet based savings account. You can transfer money from it online.”

Customer: “Can’t I get it from a tray in my computer?”

Coworker: *trying not to laugh* “Unfortunately that’s not a facility on your account.”

Customer: “Well, it looks like I’ll have to change banks!”

This Is Not A Bank

| Right | January 6, 2014

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