The House Elves Are On Strike

| Southampton, UK | Uncategorized

(A customer has dumped some of her shopping on a display in the middle of the shop. After seeing her do this, I go over and pick up the items to return them to their rightful place. The customer sees me do this and start storming towards me.)

Customer: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Did you still want these items?”

Customer: “No, but why are you moving them?”

Me: “Well, they have to be moved back to where they came from so the store is kept tidy.”

Customer: “Yes, but why are you doing it? Can’t you wait for those other people to do it?”

Me: “Sorry, who?”

Customer: “The people that come out when no one’s around, the ones that move everything around?”

Me: “Uh, I’m sorry, but we don’t employ any stock…ninjas. I’ll just take those items for you.”

A Mother’s Gift

| Provo, UT, USA | Technology

Me: “Okay, before I reset your password, I just need you to verify your identity for me. Please respond to the security question that you set up when you made your account.”

User: “Okay, what is it?”

Me: “It looks like your security question is…’Show me what yo’ mamma gave you!'”

User: *raucous laughter*

(We laugh about it together for a good minute. The sound is so loud it draws the attention of my coworkers. He then admits that he remembers entering that security question, but has no idea what he put as the answer — which was simply his name.)

OCD Is Under-appreciated

| Cambridge, MA, USA | Books & Reading

Customer: “Your books are out of order.”

Me: “Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes people take books off the shelf then don’t put them back exactly where they were. Did you need help finding something?”

Customer: “No, the order’s just wrong.”

Me: “Okay, thanks for letting us know.”

Customer: “Would you like me to fix them for you?”

Me: “That’s really not necessary. Thank you, though.”

Customer: *pause* “Can I sort them for you?”

Me: “Um, if you really want to, I suppose.”

(To my surprise, the customer actually sorted everything!)

E Is For Close Enough

| Davenport, IA, USA | Family & Kids

(Overheard in the video game section of a toy store.)

Kid: “That’s the game!”

(The father picks it up to read it as his child waits impatiently.)

Kid: “That’s the one! Let’s go!”

Father: “Hang on. I need to see if this is the right game for you.”

Kid: “But it’s rated ‘E!’ ‘E’ stands for ‘Anybody!'”

Separate, But (Not) Equal

| Wisconsin, USA | Hotels & Lodging

(I am explaining our different room types to someone who has never stayed with us. The hotel I work for is very small and has a different name for many suites.)

Me: “And lastly, we have our Supreme and Premiere suites, which are our largest units.”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “They are exactly the same, except the Supreme is on the left side of the hall and the Premiere is on the right side.”

Customer: “What’s the price difference?”

Me: “They cost the same.”

Customer: “Which one is better?”

Me: “They are exactly the same.”

Customer: “But which one is better?”

Me: “They are the same. Just opposite sides of the hall.”

Customer: “Just tell me which one is better, dear.”

Me: “The Supreme?”

Customer: “Thank you! You’ve been such a sweetheart!”

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