We Smurfs Stick Together

, | Michigan, USA | Top, Uncategorized

Manager: “And who was helping you today?”

Customer #1: *points to me* “That nice blue haired girl over there. I think it’s so fun that she has blue hair. Very unique.”

Manager: “We think it’s awesome. Have a good day!” *turns to next customer* “Hello! Who helped you out today?”

Customer #2: *points to me* “That heathen with the blue devil hair and no makeup on.”

Manager: “That’ll be $34.50. You have a nice day.”

Customer #2: *yells across store* “Thank you for the help, heathen!”

Every worker in the store: “YOU’RE WELCOME!”

One Person’s Smash Is Another Person’s Treasure

| Oklahoma, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have guacamole here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Because I asked for guacamole at [competition], and they gave me this smooshy baby-poo green stuff!”

More Than You Bargained For, Part 3

| Perth, Western Australia, Australia | Extra Stupid

(The prepaid phones we sell are displayed on a wall, with their price printed next to each phone.)

Customer: “Hey mate, how much is that phone there?”

Me: *glancing at pricing card* “One hundred fifty nine dollars.”

Customer: “Can you do it for one sixty?”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: *looks at me expectantly*

Me: “Sure, why not?”

Related:
More Than You Bargained For, Part 2
More Than You Bargained For

Coffee As Hot As Your Temper, Part 2

| Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Uncategorized

Customer: “An extra hot latte, please.”

(I make her drink, place it on the counter, and go to enter it into the till. I notice her touching the side of the mug and frowning.)

Me: “Is something the matter?”

Customer: “This is cold. I wanted it to be extra hot.”

Me: “Ma’am, that is an extra hot latte. The contents are very hot. The mug is insulated so you don’t scald your hands.”

Customer: *still touching the sides of the mug* “I don’t care. I want it extra hot. Make it again!”

Me: “Ma’am, if it’s cold, go ahead and stick your finger in it, or taste it. I assure you, it’s very hot.”

(She sticks her finger in angrily. She yelps loudly and pulls it back out.)

Me: “Is that hot enough? As I said, the mug is insulated.”

Customer: “That’s irresponsible! How can you tell the drink is hot?!”

Related:
Coffee As Hot As Your Temper

Peace On Earth, Or At Least During The Day Shift

| Illinois, USA | Uncategorized

(The store is open Easter Sunday. We only have three people on duty: two salesmen and myself.)

Customer: “Wow, I’m really surprised you’re open on Easter!”

Me: “Well, it doesn’t matter to us. I’m Muslim and my salesmen here are Jewish. We offered to work today so the other employees could celebrate the holiday.”

Customer: “And you all get along?”

Me: “Um…yes.”

Customer: “I didn’t think that was allowed!”

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