Put Your Money Where Your Mouth Went

| NH, USA | Right | August 18, 2013

(A woman approaches the register and sets down four half-eaten chocolate bars from our candy aisle.)

Customer: “I sampled these chocolates and didn’t like the consistency, so I don’t want them anymore.”

(The customer starts to walk away.)

Coworker: “Okay, well, I’m sorry about that, but you’re still going to have to pay for these.”

Customer: “But I didn’t like them!”

Coworker: “Right, but you can’t just take things without paying. What made you think that would be okay?”

Customer: “THEY WERE JUST SITTING IN MY CART! WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!”

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Weekly Roundup: Hotels & Lodging

Not Always Right | Right | August 18, 2013

Weekly Roundup: Hotels & Lodging! In this week’s roundup, we share five stories about hotel & motel customers!

  1. Smoking Rate Gets Smokers Irate (2,101 thumbs up)
  2. Unable To Order, Drunken Disorder (1,959 thumbs up)
  3. Can’t Keep Up With The Joneses (4,248 thumbs up)
  4. When (Not) In Rome (1,940 thumbs up)
  5. Voodoo Or Do Not, There Is No Jedi (2,813 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Un-American Idiots

| Italy | Right | August 17, 2013

(I work at a pretty popular furniture store. A girl and her friend come in. After looking around for a bit and giggling to themselves, the girls come up to me.)

Girl #1: “Hi. Yeah… we… like… we wanted to know… do you guys sell band members here?”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Girl #1: “Yeah! Band members! Like, you know, people who are in bands and play music?”

Me: “Oh! No, we don’t really sell band posters, sorry.”

Girl #1: “No! Not posters! We want band members!”

Me: “What? You mean you want me to sell you the actual band members? As in the actual people who play in the band?”

Both Girls: “Yeah!”

Me: “I’m sorry… I don’t think we have any in stock, and we’re probably not going to get some anytime soon. Actually, I think no store will have what you’re looking for, girls.”

Girl #1: “Aw, really?”

Girl #2: “Come on… Are you sure? Not even clones?”

Me: “Yeah, I think the most you will find will be posters and band merchandise. With pictures of them, maybe, but not the actual people. I’m very sorry.”

Both Girls: “Aw… it’s okay; sorry for bothering you.”

(As they walk away, I overhear them talking.)

Girl #2: “Aw, I really wanted a Billie Joe Armstrong.”

Girl #1: “Yeah… I guess our best bet is asking Adrienne if she’s willing to share.”

Girl #2: “Yep, we should do it. I mean, it’s like… It’s not like I want to marry him or something. I just want to be his friend. and cuddle with him, and pet his hair. Don’t forget about petting his hair.”

Girl #1: “Same here! Hmm, you know what this means, right?”

Girl #2: “Yeah. Let’s ask her on both Twitter and Instagram until she finally answers.”

(My manager has heard everything, and comes over to me laughing. We’re both huge Green Day fans.)

Manager: “Oh, God… Were they… really?

Me: “Yeah.”

(My manager starts singing to the tune of the chorus of the song “Stray Heart”.)

Manager: “Everything that they want, they want from him, but they just can’t have him. Everything that they need, they need from therapy, but they won’t realize it.”

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Food For Thoughtless, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | August 17, 2013

(I’m waiting for my food at a popular restaurant that calls your order number, and then puts your food up on a counter so you can grab it.)

Cook: “Order number [X].”

(I’m walking, up when a customer runs up and grabs at the food.)

Customer: “What is this? This isn’t what I ordered!”

(The customer starts taking the sandwich apart.)

Customer: “I didn’t order this! What’s this?”

(The customer starts picking parts of the salad out with her fingers.)

Customer: “I ordered a roast beef and soup!”

Cook: “Were you order number [X]?”

Customer: “No. My order number is [Y].”

Cook: “Then that’s not your food. That belongs to someone else.”

Customer: “Well you should have said something!”

(The customer stomps off. I look at my ripped apart sandwich that someone has just been grabbing.)

Me: “I’m order number [X]. Sorry, I tried to speak up.”

Cook: “Don’t worry; I’ll remake that for you. You wouldn’t believe how often this happens.”

Related:
Food For Thoughtless

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How To Train Your Customer

| Nanuet, NY, USA | Right | August 16, 2013

(A shipment of bearded dragons has just arrived at the store, and I’m placing them into the designated habitat when a customer walks up.)

Customer: “Excuse me, what are those?”

Me: “They’re baby bearded dragons.”

Customer: “Are those considered lizards or dragons?”

Me: “Uhh… they’re lizards, sir.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay.” *walks off disappointed*

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