A Welsh of Knowledge, Part 2

| Wales, UK | Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

Tourist: “Oh, nice! This is a bona fide English castle!”

Me: “Actually, sir, it’s not. Wales is not part of England.”

Tourist: “What? Oh, come on! You both drive on the wrong side of the road; it’s the same! Your capital is London.”

Me: “Er, no, sir. It’s Cardiff.”

Tourist: “Well, but Wales is just a state of England, like Philadelphia in the States.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but England doesn’t have states; it has counties, and Wales is not one of them. We have our own counties. Moreover sir, Philadelphia is a city, not a state.”

Tourist: “Don’t embarrass yourself, kid. You don’t even know about England even though you’re English, so please don’t bring up America; leave it to us.”

Me: “No, sir, I’m not English. I’m Welsh; not quite the same. And Philadelphia is still not a state anyway.”

Tourist: “I’m American! I know what I’m talking about!”

(One of the tourists friends comes over.)

Tourist’s Friend: “I’m sorry for his behavior; you must think all ‘Yanks’ are ignorant.”

Me: “No, not at all. Most ‘Yanks’ that come here are actually very polite and knowledgeable, and they really like Wales.”

Tourist: “You mean England!”

A Welsh Of Knowledge

Doesn’t Make A Lycan Sense

| USA | Books & Reading, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

(We get a lot of kids at the library where I work. One of our regular customers, who’s about eight years old, walks up to me.)

Customer: “[My name], I have an important question.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Are werewolves real?”

Me: “Nope, werewolves are made up.”

(He looks taken aback, like that wasn’t the response he was expecting.)

Customer: “What?! But, but wolves are real!”

Me: “Right. But wolves are wolves, and people are people.

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “If you’re born a wolf, you’re a wolf for the rest of your life. If you’re born a person, you’ll stay a person. So since you were born a person, you’ll never turn into a wolf.”

(The customer thinks about this for a minute.)

Customer: “That doesn’t make any sense!”

(The customer walks away, slowly shaking his head.)

Rent Is More Important

, | New York, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Musical Mayhem

Me: “Good afternoon, ticket central.”

Customer: “Your website is the worst.”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want help.”

Me: “Clearly. Would you like me to help you purchase tickets to a specific show?”

Customer: “Yes. I guess.”

Me: “What play?”

Customer:Belleville.”

Me: “I apologize, ma’am. The entire run of Belleville is sold-out.”

Customer: “No it isn’t.”

Me: “Yes. It is.”

Customer: “Says who?”

Me: “Says me.”

Customer: “I WANT THOSE TICKETS! I WANT THEM NOW!”

Me: “Ma’am, there’s nothing I can do. The play is sold-out, and I would suggest that you calm down as tickets to an off-Broadway play aren’t nearly as important as things like a roof over one’s head or food on one’s table.”

Customer: “MAYBE FOR YOU!” *click*