So Much Pun

| Springfield, MO, USA | Awesome Customers, Language & Words, Top

(I’m zoning the laundry aisle at a popular retail store. An elderly couple walks down the aisle. The husband makes a pun of every name brand he walks by.)

Customer: “CHEER up, dear. We’re in a new ERA now. We’re ALL together, and have everything to GAIN. So SNUGGLE up, but be careful. There’s a TIDE coming in, so SURF’s up!”

(Best. Old dude. Ever.)

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Flayed Nerves

| California, USA | Language & Words

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for a cookbook by a famous chef. He’s on TV. His name is Bobby Fray.”

Me: “Oh, sure…you mean Bobby Flay. Let me—”

Customer: “No, no, NO! I said Bobby FRAY. That’s F-R-A-Y. Fray!”

Me: “Okay, just follow me over to the cookbooks. We’ll take a look and see if we can find what you’re looking for.”

(She follows me to the cookbooks. I pull one of Bobby Flay’s books off the shelf and hand it to her.)

Me: “Is this the author you were looking for?”

Customer: “Yes! See, Bobby Fray—”

(Upon reading “Flay,” she screams in frustration and throws the book on the floor at my feet and storms out.)

Me: *speechless*

Big Power Is Watching You

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Technology

(Some electric utility residents in Arizona have the option to sign up for pre-paid electricity, which places a user display terminal in their home. Commonly referred to as “the box,” most customers place the box somewhere in their kitchen or dining room.)

Me: “Good morning, this is [name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi! I really hope you can. My box isn’t working. I keep pushing the buttons, but the display isn’t showing me anything, and I’m worried I’m going to run out of power.”

Me: “Alright, I’d be happy to look into that for you. First, we’ll need to go through a few quick steps. Could you please verify that the display unit is plugged in?”

Customer: “Yes, it is.”

Me: “Okay! Could you check for me and ensure that the battery is also inserted into the back of the display unit?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s there.”

Me: “Okay, great! Do you currently have your display unit plugged into one of your kitchen outlets?”

Customer: *very long pause* “Yes…why? Can you see me?!”

Me: “Um, no…not at all, ma’am.”

Customer: “Then how come you knew I was standing in the kitchen, huh?! Explain THAT!”

Me: “Well, many of our customers like to plug their display units into their kitchen or dining room outlets, so I just took a lucky guess.”

Customer: “Oh.” *pauses* “So, you CAN’T see me, right?”

Me: “Not at all, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay, good!”

Weekly Roundup: The Parent Is Not Always Right

, , , , | Not Always Right | Family & Kids, Roundups

The Parent Is Not Always Right: This week, we feature five stories of people who aren’t just bad customers, but bad parents too!

  1. Bad Parents Bug Us:
    A mother and her two “angels” go on an insect-killing spree at a zoo.
  2. Fruit Is But One Food Group:
    There’s nothing sweet about this parent’s approach to nutrition!
  3. Talking S*** Behind Someone’s Back 101:
    A mother teaches her daughter the joys of smack-talk.
  4. Rounding Down To The Nearest Child:
    Signs you have too many kids: you don’t know how many you have!
  5. Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Role Models Gone:
    Nanny nanny boo-boo, mommy acts like a doo-doo!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Feeling Man-strual

| Edmonton, Alberta, Canada | Uncategorized

(I am working the prescription counter when a big, burly 6-foot or so tall man comes to the counter. Note: I am a female.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Um, I think…” *trails off*

Me: “I’m sorry, sir…could you say that again?”

Customer: *leans in close* “I think I got my first period.”

Me: *speechless*

Customer: “I’m bleeding down there, and I’m really hurting in my stomach.”

Me: “Sir, men don’t get those. You need to go to the hospital.”

Customer: “I knew you girls would be insensitive! I’m leaving!”

(I didn’t see him again. I still hope he got to a hospital!)

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