A Capital Offense

| AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Math & Science, Technology

(A customer calls in requesting a password reset for his account.)

Me: “Okay, sir, I’ll go ahead and reset your password to the default. It will be the last four digits of your social security number, and the four digit year of your birth.”

Customer: “Okay, those are all capitals, right?”

Me: “Yes, sir, all the letters in your username are capitalized.”

Customer: “And what did you say my password will be?”

Me: “It will be the last four digits of your social security number, and the four digit year of your birth.”

Customer: “And are those capitalized or lowercase?”

Me: “Well, it will be the last four digits of your social—”

Customer: “I know that! But are they going to be capitalized or lower case?”

Me: *gives up* “They’re going to be capitalized numbers, sir.”

Customer: “Great! Thanks!”

Blind To Change

| Charleston, SC, USA | Food & Drink, Money

(Part of my job as a hostess is to stand out front and try to convince tourists to eat at our restaurant. Most nights a server or two will hang out there with me. Across the street we have metered parking, but that’s free after 6pm. A server and I are watching a man put change in the meter at 8pm.)

Server: “Sir! You don’t need to feed that; it’s free after six.”

Patron: “You don’t know that.”

Server: “Well, yes sir, I do. You don’t need to bother with that anymore.”

Patron: “No! I have to go to dinner, so I’m sure to be gone for the next hour and a half! I don’t want a ticket!”

(The server gives up.)

Server: “Understandable. Have a good meal, sir.”

(About two hours later, rotation has me standing back outside. This time I’m alone. The same man returns to his car.)

Patron: “I just found out there was no need for me to pay this meter after six. That would have been nice to know two hours ago!”

Me: “Sir, I was outside when my coworker told you there was no need to feed the meter.”

Patron: “That’s just not true. I wouldn’t have paid if someone told me not to. You should really inform people of that.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, sir. Have a good night.”

Patron: “Would’ve been better if I hadn’t stuffed all my change into this stupid meter!”

A Whole New Meaning To Racing Games

| Stillwater, OK, USA | Bigotry, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I work for a Singapore-based business. We support computer equipment, that often includes a free PC game.)

Customer: “Do y’all have any games that isn’t about [slur to describe Chinese people] or [slur describing black people]?”

Coworker: “Um, I’m sorry, what?”

Customer: “F****** c****’s and n*****’s! All the games I got from your company have those people in them.”

Coworker: “I’m sorry you’re disappointed in the free games, but I’m going to have ask you to use more respectful language.”

Customer: “Yeah, I know they make you say that kind of nonsense. You’re going to have to replace these games though. I can’t play a game about those people.”

Coworker: “Like I said, sir, the games are free. If you’re offended, may I suggest not playing them?”

(My coworker presses the mute button and talks to the supervisor on duty.)

Coworker: “Can I disconnect someone for being racist?”

(The supervisor looks at the picture of my coworker’s very racially diverse family, and then picks up the phone.)

Supervisor: “Sir, I’m afraid that my c**** and n***** coworkers and I at our c**** company are going to have to ask you to take your racist game needs somewhere else. If you can find a single game anywhere that doesn’t have an Asian or Black person working on it, you are welcome to it. Please don’t call again.” *click*