They’re In A Galaxy Far, Far Away

| New Zealand | Books & Reading, Movies & TV, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, miss, can I help you?”

Patron: “Yeah, I’ve been searching these shelves for about ten minutes and I can’t find any books on this one guy.”

Me: “Who are you looking for books on?”

Patron: “Oh, I think he’s quite famous! Wait, I know his name.”

Me: “Well, what did he do?”

Patron: “Something to do with the army…”

(The patron pauses for a bit before realizing.)

Patron: “Oh! Darth Vader!”

Small Appliances, Big Defiances

| Lima, OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Uncategorized

Me: “Hello, Men’s Department. How may I help you today?”

Caller: “Men’s? I wanted Small Appliances!”

Me: “Well my phone is actually the closest to that department. We don’t have a phone or cash register in that section since it is small. So. I handle that department too.”

Caller: “I want the Small Appliances Department!”

Me: “Sir, there is no phone for that department and I can easily help you with any questions you have.”

(He hangs up and immediately calls back.)

Me: “Hello, Men’s. How may I help you today?”

Same Caller: “Great, it’s you again. Well, fine…tell how much [a blender] is.”

Me: “Well, since you don’t know the product code I will need to walk over to check the price myself. It will only take a few minutes.”

Caller: “That’s bulls***!”

(He hangs up and immediately calls back. We run through the same thing again.)

Caller: “What is your name, you dumb b****?” I am going to call your manager and make sure you are fired you dumb***!” *click*

(For this last call, my manager is here.)

Manager: “I know he won’t call, but I wish I could tell him that you are getting a raise and promotion because of him.”

Throw In A Chilean For Some Kick

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Food & Drink, Funny Names, Uncategorized

(There is a customer in the refrigerated dairy section, looking lost.)

Me: “Can I help you find something?”

Customer: *grabs my arm* “Oh, yes! I’m looking for cheese.”

Me: “Well, it would be in this aisle. What kind of cheese?”

Customer: “You know, it’s white, and has little green flecks of Filipino.”

Me: “Uhm, I don’t think we have that. Do you mean jalapeño?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s it!”

Unleashes A Whole Raft Of Problems

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Money, Uncategorized

(I am a supervisor called to returns for an override.)

Me: “Hello! I understand we’re returning an inflatable raft?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s right. I don’t like this one.”

Me: “Okay, sorry to hear that. Give me just a sec to reverse the transaction. There you go! Anything else?”

Customer: “No, that’s all, I’m going to shop & look for another raft.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry but it’s a seasonal item, we no longer carry them.”

Customer: “Oh, alright.”

*comes back about 20 minutes later*

Customer: “Excuse me, since you don’t have any more rafts & I need one, can I buy the one I just returned?”

Me: “Uh, sure!”

Customer: “Well, since it’s used and it’s the last one, can I get a discount?”

That’s One Supportive Mother

| Maidstone, UK | Family & Kids, Language & Words, Technology

Me: “Hi, can I help you at all?”

Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for a present for my son. It’s called a ‘gay boy advanced’?”

Me: “I’m hoping you meant a Game Boy Advanced?”

Customer: “Oh? What did I say?”