Wasn’t Sold On What He Was Told

| NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [company] technical support. What can I help you with today?”

Customer: “I’m trying to send a report to [company], but when I try I’m getting this message about my account being expired. Hang on; let me read it to you. ‘Your account is expired. Please contact the sales department to renew.’ Is this something you can help me with, or do I need to call sales?”

Me: *facepalm*

Receipted And Defeated

| Eugene, OR, USA | Extra Stupid

(I’m working the closing shift in the lumber yard, when a customer comes in just before closing with a receipt for a special order, and rushes up to one of my coworkers. It should be noted that we have two different kinds of receipts, one for orders that have been paid for but aren’t ready to be picked up, and one for orders that are ready to pick up.)

Me: *to my coworker* “Hey, you’ve been spending a lot of time with that customer. Do you need help getting them what they need so we can finish closing?”

Coworker: *shows me receipt for special order* “This is one that says they’ve paid for it, but can’t pick it up yet. I don’t know what’s happening; I’m trying to find this guy’s special order.”

Me: “You can’t load it anyway; it hasn’t been invoiced out. Did you tell him he needs to head inside, and get a different receipt?”

Coworker: “Yeah, he said he just came from there, and they just printed him this receipt. I’m calling inside the store to figure it out.”

Me: *to the customer* “Sir, when did you place this order?”

Customer: “Just now! That guy at checkout just printed that receipt. I don’t understand why you can’t load it!”

Me: “Sir, you’ve just placed a special order. That’s because we don’t carry the product normally; it has to be shipped here from the manufacturer. We can’t load it because we don’t have it.”

Customer: “Oh… that actually makes sense, sorry.”

Be Civil To The Civilians

| USA | Military, Top

(I am a female officer-instructor, in line at the on-base convenience store. I am in my civilian clothes. Behind me are two soldiers in uniform that I recognize as new students in my latest class.)

Soldier #1: “Man, why do they let civs shop here?”

Soldier #2: “I don’t know why they even let civilians on base, you know? Unless they’re clerks or some s***; gotta have someone run the till.”

Cashier: *winks at me* “So, lieutenant, how’s the instructor life treating you?”

Me: “Oh, same old.”

(I look back at the two soldiers with my best ‘I will make you do push-ups until you throw up’ death glare.)

Me: “…some of my new students are going to take a lot of work.”

(Both soldiers turn pale and run out. The clerk laughs so hard she starts wheezing.)