Selective Stealing

| Portugal | Right | September 28, 2013

(I’m attending to a client that has her bag and other stuff on the counter, and has to fill out some forms.)

Me: “Do you mind if I attend to another client while you fill out the forms?”

Client #1: “Sure!”

(I call another client, and she has to fill out some forms as well, so I return to Client #1.)

Me: “All done. That will be €5.50.”

Client #1: “Where’s my money?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Client #1: “I had my money right here in the counter, and it’s gone!”

(We both look for the money, trying to figure out if it has fallen to the floor. Suddenly I look at Client #2, and realize what has happened.)

Me: *to Client #2* “Ma’am, did you take the money that was on the counter?”

Client #2: *after a long pause* “Yes, I did.”

Client #1: “Why on earth would you do that?!”

Client #2: “Well, I didn’t know it was yours; I thought it was hers!” *points to me*

Me: “So that would make it okay?!”

Client #2: *happily* “Exactly!”

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They Have No Drive

, | Markham, ON, Canada | Right | September 28, 2013

(I am working in the drive-thru window. I am talking to a customer and we both notice a group of four young teens WALKING down the drive-thru lane.)

Customer: *laughs* “Don’t you love how silly kids are? Well, good night!”

(The customer leaves, and the teens approach the drive-thru window.)

Teen: “Yea, hi. I want to order.”

Me: “Yea, sorry. Unfortunately I can’t serve you here unless you are in a car. You are welcome to come inside though.”

Teen: “What are you talking about? We are in a car, see! I’m the driver holding the wheel.” *holds imaginary wheel* “And my passengers!” *points at his three friends*

Me: “Sorry, but unless you can crash your car and dent my wall. I can’t serve you here.”

Teen: “Okay!” *makes screeching noises* “CRASH!”

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A Price Shake-Down

, | Anchorage, AK, USA | Right | September 27, 2013

(I’m working the counter, and I see a six-year-old boy walk in with his mother. The mother sits in the back while the boy goes to the counter to make his order.)

Me: “Hi, sweetie! What can I get you today?”

Boy: “Can I please have a small orange-creme shake?”

Me: “Of course. Anything else?”

Boy: “No.”

Me: “Alright, that’ll be one-ninety.”

(The boy’s face crumples, and he backs away from the counter, walks in a circle, then looks back at me.)

Boy: “What?”

Me: “One-ninety?”

(The boy begins crying, and rushes back to his mother.)

Boy: “Mommy! I need $200 for my shake, and we don’t have that kinda money!”

Mother: “What?”

Me: “Wait, wait, no, sweetheart! I mean it’s one dollar and ninety cents!”

Boy: “Oh, okay.”

(After that, he pays for his shake and acts like absolutely nothing has happened.)

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Their Reasoning Has A Hole In The Middle

| Wales, UK | Right | September 27, 2013

(I work in the in-store bakery at my supermarket. Our shelving-display signs warn that all of our products either contain nuts, or are prepared in the same food areas as products containing nuts. Two young girls aged about eight approach the shelving, and read aloud the notice.)

Girl #1: “The sign says that some of the food contains nuts. I wonder which things have them in.”

Girl #2: “Well duh, obviously all of the doughnuts have nuts. The clue is in the name. DOUGH. NUTS.”

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De-Stress The Waitress

| AZ, USA | Right | September 27, 2013

(I am a waitress at a high-end restaurant. This night, I am particularly rushed and upset, and make a few customer service mistakes while serving a customer.)

Customer: “I’d like to speak to your manager, please.”

Me: “Sure, may I ask what about?”

Customer: “About you.”

(My manager is very strict, and he doesn’t believe in second chances. I am terrified. I go up to my manager.)

Me: “Manager, table six please; they want to talk to you.”

Manager: *walks over* “Yes sir, what did you need to talk to me about?”

Customer: “It’s about your waitress here.”

Manager: *starting to glare at me* “Has she done something wrong?”

(I am standing there holding back tears, sure that I am about to be fired.)

Customer: “Well, she has been very busy and rushed tonight. All the same, she has managed to take our orders and give us our food quickly and with a smile on her face. I used to be a waitress, and I know how hard that is to do. I just wanted to tell you that you have a Class-A employee here, and I’m leaving her a 50% tip. I also have reservations for next week, and I’d like to request in advance that she be our server.”

Manager: *stunned* “Yes, that can be arranged. I’m glad you thought well of her. Have a good day.”

Me: *almost crying* “I thought you were about to have me fired! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Customer: “Oh, it’s no problem, dear. Here’s your tip, and I hope your day gets better!”

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