Ridiculous Amounts Of Change

| Right | January 15, 2014

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All Snowing, Not All Knowing

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Right | January 15, 2014

Man: “Hey, bro. Do you know when the number seven bus is coming?”

Me: “It should’ve been here five minutes ago.”

Man: “Un-f******-believable. I bet you anything the driver’s a woman or old.”

Me: “Um… or this heavy snow delayed the bus, as it has for the last two days.”

(Five minutes later…)

Man: “F*** sakes, I got places to be. B**** needs to hurry up!”

Me: “Calm down, man. You don’t know what happened.”

Man: “Stop trying to stick up for these f****** lazy-a** drivers.”

(I decide not to bother. Ten minutes later the bus arrives. We get on.)

Man: “F****** finally. We’ve been waiting for an hour in the snow!”

Driver: “I’m sorry. I was delayed by an accident. Sounds pretty bad; I had to be rerouted so the ambulances could get there.”

(The man goes silent.)

Me: “I hope you’re f****** happy now.”

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There’s No Sugar-Coating Some Stupidity

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Right | January 15, 2014

(I work in a cafe and bar that is attached to a movie theater. On this evening, we are somewhat slammed due to a highly anticipated movie release. While I am working the bar I overhear a conversation.)

Customer #1: “I need to return these fries.”

Coworker #1: “Of course. What was wrong with them, ma’am?

Customer #1: “There’s too much sugar!”

(Both of my co-workers just stare blankly for a few seconds.)

Coworker #2: “Did you mean, there’s too much salt?”

Customer #1: “No! Sugar! There’s too much sugar on these fries! I want salt!”

Coworker #1: “Let me replace your order for you, ma’am…”

(At this point, many of the customers at the bar and I are struggling to not laugh out loud. While my coworker tries to explain to the cooks exactly what’s going on, the customer moves out of the way for the person next-in-line.)

Customer #2: *sarcastically* “I want an order of your fries, and, for the love of all that is good: No. Sugar. Please. No. Sugar!”

(Many of the customers lose it at this point. All of a sudden, we hear a cook scream out to our waitresses.)

Cook: “We don’t even have sugar in the kitchen! Why would we have sugar?! Nothing we make has sugar! On top of that, WHO PUTS SUGAR ON FRIES?!”

(I couldn’t get my fist in my mouth in time to stop my laughter. The best part was, the customer in question never even noticed any of this happening!)

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Makes You Want To Hit The Bottle

| CT, USA | Right | January 15, 2014

(I am bagging groceries for an elderly woman.)

Customer: “Now, don’t forget to pack those bags light, young man. I can’t carry like I used to.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. No problem.”

(I have packed all her groceries in plastic bags, handing her each one over the counter.)

Customer: “Young man! This bag is way too heavy! Please repack this.”

(I look inside. There is a single two-liter bottle of soda in there.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, I can’t split a bottle of—”

Customer: “Just do it!”

(I shrug, take the bottle out of the plastic bag, put it in another identical plastic bag, and hand it back to her.)

Customer: “Ah, see? That’s much better. Why couldn’t you do that the first time?”

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Doesn’t Seem To Get The Concept(ion)

| Denison, TX, USA | Right | January 15, 2014

(I do the marketing and advertising for an OB/GYN. I overhear an interesting exchange.)

Doctor: “You’re pregnant and you have an STD. You must have had some kind of sex to get pregnant.”

Patient: “Well, Mary didn’t!”

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