Not Addressing The Problem

| MN, USA | Right | August 28, 2013

(A customer calls in to report problems with their cell phone. I’ve determined it is a network issue.)

Me: “So, I will just need to know the location where you are so that I can tell the technician.”

Customer: “What? I’m not giving you the address! That’s not my job! I just need you to come out and fix it. It’s in Chicago.”

Me: “Well, in order for our techs to know what tower to fix, they need to know where you are having the issues. Without an address, I can’t put in the ticket.”

Customer: “No! I am not giving you the address! I am so sick and tired of this stuff! I had the same problem with [other provider]! You don’t need an address to fix it; you just don’t want to help!”

Me: “I do want to help, which is why I need an address. Even if the system would let me put the ticket in without an address, you’d then be waiting for months for a resolution while we check every tower in Chicago. In order to help, I need to know where to send my techs.”

Customer: “This is outrageous! I have a business to run! I don’t have time for this s***!”

Me: “It looks like you have a water-sprinkler company. If one of your customers reported a problem with a pipe you laid, would you go around the entire city checking every pipe, or would you require that customer to give you an address to assist?”

Customer: *huffs* “That is not the same thing, and you know it! Now get someone out here immediately!”

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A Large Intelligence Gulf (Of Mexico)

| Orlando, FL, USA | Right | August 28, 2013

Customer: “So, where are you located?”

Me: “In Orlando, Florida.”

Customer: “Ugh! I’m sick of all you foreigners taking jobs from us hard-working Americans!”

Me: “Ma’am, I am an American citizen. Florida is a state in America. Everyone who works in this call center is American.”

Customer: “I’m not stupid! I know Florida is in Mexico! I want to talk to an AMERICAN!”

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Dumb Questions

| Right | August 27, 2013

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Six Items Or Less

| Right | August 27, 2013

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Doesn’t Bavaria With Distances

| Berlin, Germany | Right | August 27, 2013

Guest: “Hi. So, I am going to go to see Neuschwanstein the day after tomorrow; I am meeting a friend there.”

(Neuschwanstein Castle is 700 km, around 435 miles or at least a six-hour drive from Berlin. I assume he wants to leave Berlin and stay somewhere in Bavaria close to the castle.)

Me: “Great, they tell me it’s well worth the trip.”

Guest: “That’s what I heard. So, do you reckon I could be back here in time for the pub crawl?”

Me: “Um… no, I don’t think so, unfortunately. It’s 700 km from here.”

Guest: “Yeah. That’s only like 100 miles, right? I got a rental car. And you guys have the Autobahn, after all. I reckon it shouldn’t take me more than an hour one way!”

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