Can’t Help Those Who Won’t Help Themselves

| CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Technology

(The entire network for my store and the stores in my district have gone down, preventing us from looking up customer accounts and values for electronic devices. A customer comes in to have an estimate for selling an iPhone.)

Customer: “How much can I get for this?”

Coworker: “Our system is down right now, so unfortunately we cannot look it up.”

Customer: “You can’t even try?”

Coworker: “Well, let’s give it a shot.”

(My coworker starts loading the screen, and the system only loads about halfway before failing.)

Coworker: “Since it’s still not working, I can give you the number of another store that does have their system functioning so they can give you an estimate.”

Customer: “So you mean I have to call them, and you can’t tell me here?”

Coworker: “We cannot.”

Customer: “Why not?”

(I have just clocked off, but decide to interject to help explain the situation.)

Me: “Our system is down, preventing us from looking up the estimate. However, this store can give you an estimate. Additionally, you can go onto our store website and find an estimate there.”

Customer: “So you’re telling me you can’t help me?”

Me: “Through our system we cannot, but I have provided you two alternatives to help you out.”

Customer: *starts leaving* “Dumb-a** b****, won’t even help me out and look it up for me.”

Another Customer: “Their system is down lady! Gosh, what is her problem?”

Common Sense Bounces Off His Head

| Rotherham, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal

(There have been a number of armed robberies in the surrounding area of betting shops, convenience stores and post offices. We are all pretty on edge when a customer comes in the store wearing a motorbike helmet.)

Me: “Excuse me, could you remove your helmet please?”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “Could you remove your helmet, please? You’re not supposed to come in the shop with it on.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous; why should I have to take it off?”

Me: “I’m not serving you while you have it on. Please remove it.”

Customer: “If a [racial slur] came in here with their face covered, you wouldn’t ask them to remove it.”

Me: “Seeing as that isn’t even relevant in this matter, I’ll ignore what you just said. However I will not serve you while you are wearing that helmet. There have been countless armed robberies in the area, so do you really think I feel safe with you walking in like that? Just be glad I haven’t already pressed the panic button.”

Customer: *shuts up and removes helmet*

That Bread Cost A Lot Of Dough

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a pizza place. I take an order over the phone.)

Caller: “I’d like to order two thin crusts.”

Me: “Okay, that will be two thin crust pizzas. What would you like on them?”

Caller: “No, I just want the crusts. Last time I ordered, you people didn’t make it right, so I’m just going to top it myself.”

Me: “So, you want us to cook, and deliver to you, two pieces of bread?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “That shouldn’t be an issue. Let me just make sure it’s okay with my manager.”

(I put the customer on hold. My manager confirms that we can indeed accommodate the customer, but advises me to inform her, that she will be paying the full price of two pizzas, for two cooked pieces of bread.)

Me: “Looks like we can handle that for you, but my manager did want me to make you aware that that we can’t discount the price of the order because it lacks toppings.”

Caller: “That’s just fine.”

Me: “Alright, that will be $21.53. Your bread will be ready for you to pick up in 15 to 20 minutes. Have a nice day!”