The Idea Has No Silver Lining

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work in a jewelry store that makes it’s own jewelry. Because of this, we can do custom jobs and jewelry repair. We get some crazy requests, things from witchcraft to erotic.)

Me: “Hi, how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes! I’d like to get a custom piece made. I have the design and everything!”

Me: “Alright. Can I see it?”

(The customer hands me a large wingnut. The kind you buy in the hardware store for a quarter.)

Me: “Um…”

Customer: “I need about a dozen of these made, in silver!”

Me: “You realize this isn’t very practical, and will be expensive, right?”

Customer: “Oh, no! It’s a wonderful idea! That’s why I’m giving it to you! You can produce them, and you’ll make enough within a couple of months!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I don’t think that’s true.”

Customer: “But I’m giving you the idea, and you can just pay me back by giving me a dozen of them!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ll have to charge you about $100 to produce each one of these. I’m not giving you $1200 for this idea. I know it will not sell. If you want me to make them, I need to be paid, in cash, in full.”

Customer: “It’s a great idea! You’ll be sorry you passed it up!”

Digging A Conversational Hole A Rabbit Could Fit Into

| Germany | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Top

(I am checking out a young couple’s weekly groceries. I overhear their exchange.)

Girl #1: *puts massive pack of batteries onto the conveyor belt*

Girl #2: “Wait, that’s really expensive! What do we even need batteries for?”

Girl #1: *glances nervously at me* “They’re for the TV remote.”

Girl #2: “Oh, I didn’t realise the batteries in the remote had run out. Do we need that many though? I mean what else do we have that even uses batter— Oh…”

Color Me Surprised

| Hanover, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

(I work in the copy center of a large chain store. A couple comes in and ask for a copy of an ID card, and social security card. I make the copy, and bring it over to the counter where they are standing.)

Me: “Here you go. Does everything look alright?”

Customer: “Oh wow, you can print in color? I didn’t even know you could print in color!”

Me: “Yes, we can.”

Customer: “Wow, so is it the paper?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Like, is it the paper that makes it print in color?”

Me: *a little baffled* “No… it’s actually the ink.”

Customer: That’s crazy! It looks just like the real thing!”