Nothing Outlasts The Criticizer

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “I want to return these batteries.”

(She puts an opened pack of batteries on the counter.)

Me: “Oh, so they didn’t work?”

Customer: “Yeah, they worked for a few weeks, but now they’e broken. They’re not supposed to expire until 2015!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a ‘best if used by’ date, not an expiration date.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Batteries die. It’s just saying that you should use them before this date, not that they will last for 3 years.”

Customer: “You mean I have to buy more batteries?!”

They Are Not The Toys You Are Looking For

| St. Catharines, Ontario, Canada | Rude & Risque

(A woman calls into the store. She’s speaking very quietly and I have to ask her several times to repeat herself. Finally I make out something.)

Woman: “Do you sell vibrators?”

Me: *pause* “Um, ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you again to repeat what you said. I really don’t think we sell what I think you said.”

Woman: “Vibrators.”

Me: “No. No, we don’t.”

Woman: “Isn’t this The Love Shop?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this is Toys-R-Us.”

Related:
They Are Not The Balls You Are Looking For

A-moooo-sing Explanations

| Pensacola, FL, USA | Uncategorized

(As a grocery store bagger, I often help people load their items into their cars. Tonight, as I walk out the door with a customer, she notices milk all over the parking lot.)

Lady: *casually, without missing a beat* “Oh, a cow exploded…”

Related:
A-moooo-sing Customers

The Great State Of Confusion, Part 6

| New Jersey, USA | Geography, History

(My university has a very long winter break which allows me to work over the holidays. I am working the Christmas season when a customer begins to make small talk.)

Customer: “What high school do you go to, sweetheart?”

Me: “I am actually in college and am just working seasonal.”

Customer: “Oh! Where do you go?”

Me: “The University of Delaware.”

Customer: “What state is that in?”

Me: “Delaware.”

Customer: “Yes, honey, I heard you but what state is that in?”

Me: “The state is Delaware.”

Customer: “When did Delaware become a state?”

Me: “It was the first state in 1776.”

Customer: *stays quiet for the rest of the transaction*

Related:
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 5
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
The Great State Of Confusion
The Great State Of Ignorance

This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree, Part 2

| Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids

(I work at a museum catering to children. A man and his son are examining our electronic magnifier, which has clear instructions in large type right next to it.)

Dad: *yanking and knocking on machine* “How does this stupid thing work?!”

Son: “Well, did you read the directions?”

Dad: “What directions?!”

Son: “The words under that big sign that says ‘Directions’.”

Related:
This Apple Fell Far From Its Tree

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