Pen-ding Emergency

| Canada | Right | October 20, 2013

(I work at a call center for an oil and gas company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] emergency line. Are you reporting an emergency?”

Caller: “Yes, very urgent.”

Me: “Alright, I’ll just need to gather some details in case we are disconnected. May I please have your first and last name?”

Caller: *angry* “You don’t need my name!”

Me: “Not a problem; may I please have your telephone number with area code?”

Caller: “No! You don’t need that either. Just f****** help me!”

Me: “Alright, ma’am, what is nature of the emergency?”

Caller: “My pen broke. I need a new one right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; this is an oil and gas emergency line. We’d be unable to assist with getting you a new pen.”

Caller: “No, f*** you! You gave me this pen last week and it broke already. How am I supposed to play with my cat now?”

Me: “I’m sorry; this is an emergency line. I can provide you the main office number where they may be able to locate you a new pen.”

Caller: “Are you serious? I can’t play with my cat and you don’t think this is an emergency?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this issue would not be considered an emergency.”

Caller: “Well f*** you then. I hope you’re happy; you’ve killed my cat!” *slams down the receiver*

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Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories

Not Always Right | Right | October 20, 2013

Weekly Roundup: Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories! In this week’s roundup, we share five funny seasonal stories about fall/autumn!

  1. A Good Chance Of A Falling Out (4,082 thumbs up)
  2. A Pal-Tree Understanding Of Plants (2,171 thumbs up)
  3. Window Pains (1,106 thumbs up)
  4. Someone’s Been Pumpkin At The Gym (1,505 thumbs up)
  5. Happy PTLBOTT Day! (2,715 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Gloss Over The Facts

| IN, USA | Right | October 19, 2013

(I’m on a phone with a customer. I’ve just finished going through all the print sizes, finishes, and prices.)

Customer: “I’m going to send some 8x10s through the internet; how much will they be?”

Me: “They are $3.99.”

Customer: “What finish are your 8×10 prints?”

Me: “They are glossy.”

Customer: “But I need a matte finish.”

Me: “The machine that prints 8x10s can print a glossy finish. You can always go to [location]; they only have the matte finish.”

Customer: “But I want to order them here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our machine is unable to print matte photos.”

Customer: “Can you try?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that machine only prints a glossy finish.”

Customer: “Yes, but can you try?”

Me: “We do not have the ability to print photos with a matte finish. We can only make glossy prints.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t try! You w****!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the w**** who runs the machine is unwilling to talk in circles. Good day!” *click*

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Not Quite Seasoned With The Omelet Station

, | Nashville, TN, USA | Right | October 19, 2013

(I work for a hotel with a complimentary breakfast that includes a made-to-order omelet station. I am making the omelets in plain sight of the customers, with all of my ingredients on display. A customer walks up and ignores a sign with ingredients listed and bowls on display, full of veggies.)

Customer: “I want an omelet with all the vegetables.”

Me: “Okay, all of the vegetables including the ja—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “YES! All of them.”

Me: “Okay, because we have—”

Customer: *walks off*

(I make an omelet with all of the vegetables, and call it out when it’s done. She comes and picks it up and walks off with out a word. About two minutes later, she comes back. Her face is red, and there are tears running down her face.)

Customer: “I didn’t realize you had jalapeños!”

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Convicted By His Convictions

| Right | October 19, 2013

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