These Bagels Have A Long Shelf Life

| Five Towns, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(A lot of people like to come into the shop and ask for special favors because of being ‘good customers’. Sometimes the cashier—who is also the owner—gets annoyed.)

Customer #1: “But we’re good customers!”

Cashier: “What’s my name?”

Customer #2: “What?”

Cashier: “If you’re really good customers, you would know my name.”

(Customers #1 and #2 look at each other, confused.)

Customer #2: “Aren’t you Todd?”

Cashier: “You’re confusing me with my father.”

Customer #2: “Yes, that’s who we’re used to dealing with. Can we talk to him, please?”

Cashier: “He died 18 years ago. You must be really good customers.”

Wild & Unruly Themed Giveaway Roundup

Not Always Right | Roundups, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

Wild & Unruly Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Thinks He Is Customer Number One (2,565 thumbs up)
  2. Assault And Battery Included (2,043 thumbs up)
  3. Hey Mr DJ, Put My Record On (3,112 thumbs up)
  4. Should Have Stayed Clear Of The Bottle (2,955 thumbs up)
  5. Insulting Jitsu, And Then It Hits You (2,573 thumbs up)
  6. Animal-Hating, Manner-less And Bigoted, Oh My (2,211 thumbs up)
  7. They Need A Backup Sign (2,085 thumbs up)
  8. Running A Mile With Another Man’s Shoes (1,669 thumbs up)
  9. A Bit Light On Being Polite (1,932 thumbs up)
  10. Maid of Dishonor (1,904 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

This Is Soda-Pressing

| Twin Cities, MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m taking an order for delivery on the phone.)

Caller: “What kind of soda do you have?”

Me: “Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

Caller: “Hmm… I’d like a Mountain Dew!”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have that. We only have Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

Caller: “Well, how about a Sprite then!”

Me: “We don’t have that either, only Coke, Diet Coke, Cherry Coke, Mr. Pibb, and root beer.”

Caller: “Oh, Coke then!”

(The customer then shouts into the background.)

Caller: “Honey, do you want a soda? They have orange!”