Pulling Hair As Well As A Fast One

, | Raunds, England, UK | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I’m 10 years old. I am helping my father out at his takeaway, being the ‘cashier’. We are Asian. A white customer in her thirties walks in, and orders some food. I call my dad’s friend to make it, and he does. He brings it out and leaves.)

Me: “Okay, miss, that will be £30.00.”

Customer: “What? Oh no, darling; I’m the old owner’s daughter! I get my food for free!”

Me: “£30.00.”

Customer: “FREE. Give me my food for free, sweetheart.”

Me: “Please pay £30.00.”

Customer: “Dearie, I get it for free. My father—bless him, he’s 60 now—is the owner, and lets me have it for free! Give it to me!”

Me: “I don’t believe my father is 60; he is only 40. And we are Asian; you are a White person. Now, please pay for your food, or I will be forced to call the police.”

Customer: “You cheeky lying little brat!”

(She grabs my hair, and pulls hard.)

Customer: “Give me my free food now! Or I’ll spank your bum so hard you will die! You’re just a worthless teenager trying to earn money you don’t deserve!”

Me: “Daddy! Daddy! A lady’s got my hair, and she says you’re her daddy, and, and, gets f-food for free!”

(My dad runs in.)

Dad: “Stop! She’s only 10! You’re hurting her! I will call the police!”

(The customer goes pale, and runs out the door. I’ve not been back there in two years.)

No Port For The Harbor

| Port Charlotte, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: “I dropped my phone in the water while I was on the boat this weekend, and I want to retrieve my pictures off of it. Can you do that?”

Me: “Sure we can.”

(I wait to see phone.)

Me: “Where is it?”

Customer: “At the bottom of the harbor; you can still get my pictures, right?”

The Breast Advice

| AR, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A lone customer, obviously pregnant, is looking at the wall of pacifiers and bottles, looking more and more confused as she stands there. She turns to me.)

Customer: “Hey, do you have any kids?”

Me: “Yes, I have a three-year-old daughter.”

Customer: “Oh, thank God! Which one of these bottles did you use? I don’t know which one is the best one!”

Me: “Oh, my daughter never drank from a bottle.”

Customer: “What?”

Me: “My daughter never drank from a bottle. We didn’t need them.”

Customer: “B…but then how did you feed her?!”

Me: “With my boobs.”

(The customer digests this for a few seconds, then blushes crimson and runs off, leaving me a little confused, offended, and worried about the child she is carrying.)