Putting A Lid On That Temper

| Texas, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Hi, how are you doing today?”

Customer: “Hey, you. Um…you got any corn dogs?”

Me: “I’m sorry we don’t.”

Customer: “Okay, do you have any pistachio ice cream?”

(We’re standing right at the ice cream bar and have all the selections on display.)

Me: “No, sir, we don’t. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “Son of a b****! Well, do you at least have a large chocolate shake?! You have that, right?!”

Me: “Yes, sir. Let me make that for you.”

(I head to do this while my coworker takes the rest of his order, which is a triple dip ice cream in a cup. I come back to ring him up and notice that he’s not happy.)

Me: “All right, that will be [price].”

Customer: “I wanted that to go!” *points at the ice cream in the cup*

Me: “Yes, sir, it’s in a cup. You can take it to go.”

Customer: “You’re telling me that you’d drive with that in your car without a lid?! How stupid are you?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I would. I can get you a lid if you want.”

Customer: “Well what did you think I meant by to go?!”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

(I get him a lid and force the ice cream to fit.)

Customer: “Well, I hope you learned something from this!” *storms off*

Aging Is A Zero Sum Game

| Quebec City, Quebec, Canada | Extra Stupid

(Our store has an aisle with toys as well as celebration stuff for birthdays, including candles for birthday cakes. I am filling up this aisle when a lady in her late 50’s comes up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you carry candles that are numbers?”

Me: “Yes, let me show you.”

(I show her the candles we have, from 0 to 9.)

Customer: “Oh, they don’t carry 55. My husband is going to be 55.”

(I think she’s joking, and laugh a little.)

Me: “Well, you can just buy two 5’s, and that’ll make 55.”

Customer: *disgusted* “I don’t know why they hired you!” *leaves without buying anything*

Bootleg Me Some Common Sense

| Jacksonville, FL, USA | Criminal & Illegal

(Note: this takes place before either of these films are available on DVD or Blu-ray.)

Customer: “I’d like a copy of Transformers 3 and Hangover 2.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but those films are still in the theaters and won’t be out in stores until after the summer.”

Customer: “No, I just saw them for sale at the flea market.”

Me: “Those would be bootleg copies. They’re not very good quality.”

Customer: “That’s fine. Just give me those.”

Me: “We don’t sell bootlegs here.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous. You should sell whatever the customer wants!”

Me: “Bootlegs are illegal and we can’t carry them.”

Customer: “That isn’t very good service! I’m going to speak to your manager.”

Me: “That’s fine; you can ask for him at the service desk.”

Customer: “I hope he fires you for being incompetent.”

Me: “Well, thank you for shopping at [store] and have a nice day.”

Customer: “Jacka**!”

Your Complaints Are On Thin Ice

| Seattle, WA, USA | Top

(Our location has two entrances, one of which is closed because of unsafe conditions on the adjacent sidewalk due to a recent snowstorm. A woman approaches me as I’m shelving books.)

Patron: “Hi. You look like who I need to complain to.”

Me: “Okay. What seems to be the problem?”

Patron: “These conditions are unacceptable. I had to walk another block just to get in here. All because you and your employees are too lazy to pick up a shovel and clear that sidewalk.”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have the say as to whether that sidewalk is open or not. The city made that decision yesterday for safety reasons.”

Patron: “I should have known when I saw you that you weren’t going to help me. You have that kind of face.”

Me: *speechless*

(At this point, another patrons steps in at my defense.)

Another Patron: “Excuse me, miss, I hope that you’re not referring to the sidewalk on [street]. My name is [name]. I’m a civil engineer for the city and I can assure that, given the water main rupture and the three feet of frozen ice/slush, it’s going to take an extensive amount of labor to clear and fix that sidewalk. Furthermore, I find it incredibly insensitive that you would complain about this inconvenience to you when, just the other day, a poor boy slipped and fell and broke both legs on that very sidewalk.”

Patron: *dumbfounded* “Well, I didn’t…” *walks away*

Abbreviation Nation

| Florida, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Okay, sir, and the bill-to address?”

Customer: “237 Ooh-sah Highway.”

Me: “Would you mind spelling the highway name for me?”

Customer: “It sounds exactly like it’s spelled.”

Me: “O-O-H-S-A?”

Customer: “What? No! Ooh-sah.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Would you mind spelling it for me?”

Customer: “God. Fine. U-S-A. Ooo-sah!”

Me: “Do you mean US Highway [number]?”

Customer: “I know what road I live on! Ooh-sah!”

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