Some Customers Can’t Be Helped

| PA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m sorting out sizes in a rack of shirts that just gone clearance. I notice a customer that appears to be having difficulty finding what they’re looking for.)

Me: “Sir, I just want you to know that the extra smalls, smalls, and mediums are all in the labelled sections. However, I’m still in the process of sorting through the larges and extra larges. Let me know if you need help finding anything.”

(The customer randomly takes a bunch of mediums and throws them in the small section.)

Customer: “I don’t need your f***ing help!”

Me: “I apologize if I offended you sir, but it’s my job to offer assistance.”

Customer: “WELL, THEN YOU’RE NOT DOING YOUR F***ING JOB!”

Well, That Narrows It Down, Part 3

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(While checking in on a patient…)

Me: “Do you know the name of your primary care doctor?”

Patient: “Oh, I don’t remember that.”

Me: “Do you remember anything about them? The name of the practice, or what street it’s on?”

Patient: “It’s either a man or a woman.”

Me: “I see…”

Related:
Well, That Narrows It Down, Part 2
Well, That Narrows It Down

He’s A Hair Too Sensitive

| USA | Family & Kids, Top

(I am picking up my 4-year-old cousin from daycare. I see a man dragging his daughter behind him; he walks straight to an employee.)

Father: “I demand to know who was with my daughter earlier!”

Employee: “Sir, what is the problem?”

Daughter: “Daddy, nothing was wrong. She just didn’t know.”

Father: “No! That lady was rude.”

Employee: “Sir? What lady?”

Father: “My daughter drew a picture of her family, wrote ‘dad’ above a long haired figure and ‘mom’ above a short haired figure. And that rude lady said she must have it backwards.”

Employee: “Oh, that. It was just a plain misunderstanding. Pamela saw it and went, ‘Did you write mom and dad on the wrong people?’ Your daughter explained that you did have long hair and mom had short hair. And she was like, ‘Oh,’ but she wasn’t in any way rude.”

Father: “That’s IT! Your employee assumed that was an error. What is the matter with long haired men and short haired women?”

Employee: “Sir, nothing is wrong. It was simply a misunderstanding and Pamela meant no harm by it. I can ask her to come out here right now.”

Father: “Forget it! We’re leaving and not ever coming back. Let’s go!”

Daughter: “Daddy, you’re being rude!” *to employee* “Sorry!”

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There’s No Business Like My Business

| California, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work at a well-known retail pharmacy. One night while I’m still new on the job, I’m manning one of the cash registers.)

Woman: “Hi, where is your baking soda?”

Me: “Um, I can’t guarantee that we have baking soda, but if we do, it would be in Aisle 3.”

Woman: *goes off to look for it*

(15 minutes later, the customer comes through my line with her baking soda.)

Me: “Oh, I see you found it! I’m glad we carry it.”

Woman: “If you hadn’t, I would have been very frustrated, and I would never have come here again!”

(I think she’s joking and laugh a bit.)

Me: “Well, I’m certainly glad you found it!”

Woman: *completely serious* “I did that to [other retail store] when they didn’t have lettuce, and they went out of business within a week!”

Me: *pause* “Um… I’m REALLY glad you found the baking soda, then.”

Lightening In A Bottle

| Maryland, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(The wine store I work at has a fully functional bar. On this particular night, the store is very busy as we are having a wine tasting that is open to the public. This day also happens to be the one before my birthday. I am mixing a drink for a well-to-do regular customer).

Customer: “So, how have you been lately?”

Me: “Pretty good.”

Customer: “What time will you be in tomorrow?”

Me: “I actually have the day off. It is my birthday.”

Customer: “Oh, is it? Did [owner] get you anything nice?”

Me: “I doubt it.”

Customer: “Well, that is too bad. Hey, could you help me find a good Portuguese wine?”

(For the next ten minutes, I show him red blends, Riojas, and other wonderful Portuguese wines.)

Customer: “If you could get any of these, which would you get?”

Me: “Well, that depends. Most of these are out of my price range, but this $10.99 bottle would be great.”

Customer: “But I want the best one that is over here, regardless of price.”

(I show him a really good one that is $60 a bottle.)

Customer: “I want this one. Can I buy it, set it on the counter, and enjoy some more drinks at the bar?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

(The customer stays for a few more hours talking to me about the college I had went to, and jobs I am interested in. About an hour before closing, he says it is time to go, and heads to the counter where his purchases are still sitting. I proceed to clean up the bar as he approaches me.)

Customer: “I thought it a shame that a person as friendly and knowledgable as you didn’t get a birthday gift after working here for years. This is yours.”

(He hands me a wrapped bag, and when I unwrap it, it is the expensive wine I had recommended. As I look up to thank him, he is already out the door, but he gives me a wave and a large smile. It is people like that who make working a minimum wage job worth it!)

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