Ballerina Rex

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Right | September 25, 2013

(I am in the toy store with my boyfriend. It’s a Saturday, so it’s pretty crowded with children and their parents. We’re looking at the display of a new dinosaur toy series, when a tiny little girl in a pink ballerina outfit enters the store with her mother. The girl spots the dinosaur display from about 30 feet away, and comes running over.)

Little Girl: “Mommy! Mommy look! Dinosaurs!”

Her Mom: “I see sweetie. Do you want to spend some of your birthday money on the dinosaurs?”

Little Girl: “Yes! Can I have the T-Rex? Or the Triceratops?”

Her Mom: “How about one like the one this lady is buying?”

(The mom gestures to me and the velociraptor set I’m holding. I smile, and hold it at her level so she can see it. The little girl examines it carefully, and then slowly shakes her head.)

Little Girl: “It’s a little too scary. Can I have the T-Rex?”

Her Mom: “Sure sweetie, it’s your birthday money after all.”

(She hands her daughter the T-Rex box, which is nearly as big as she is. Her older brother, who looks about 13, offers to carry it for her.)

Little Girl: “AWESOME! Dinosaurs!”

(Clutching the box, she starts skipping towards the cash with her older brother, twirling and spinning like a ballerina the whole way.)

Her Mom: *sees us laughing* “My little ballerina. She’s been stealing her brother’s toy dinosaurs since she was one!”

(The adorable, dino-loving ballerina made my day!)

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Womb Mates Looking To Be Room Mates

| IA, USA | Right | September 25, 2013

(I am a nighttime desk clerk at a hotel. Two teenage boys enter.)

Older Boy: “Yeah, we’d like a room for the night.”

Me: *suspicious* “Okay, I’ll need to see some ID.”

(The older boy hands over his ID.)

Me: “This says you’re only 17. I can’t give you a room unless you’re 18, especially if you’re checking in with someone else. Besides, I can’t even tell if this is you. The picture’s all smudged out.”

Older Boy: “Oh wait, that’s not my ID. It’s my twin brother’s ID.”

Me: “Your twin brother…”

Older Boy: “Yeah! I mean, can’t you see the family resemblance?”

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The Odds Of Her Believing Are Ever In Your Favor

| MD, USA | Right | September 25, 2013

(I overhear the following conversation between a boy who is about 12, and his grandmother.)

Grandmother: “What are you reading there?”

Boy:The Hunger Games.”

Grandmother: “What’s that about?”

Boy: “Don’t worry Grandma. It’s about these kids who enter a Hungry Hungry Hippos tournament, and the winner wins a bag of candy!”

Grandmother: “Oh. That sounds nice!”

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The Ten Doctors Versus The Ten Commandments

, | USA | Right | September 25, 2013

(I order my food, and I sit down and start watching an episode of ‘Doctor Who’ on my smartphone with my headphones. Another customer taps me on the shoulder. I turn around to see a girl in her late teens.)

Customer: “Is that Doctor Who?”

Me: “Yeah, are you a fan?!”

Customer: “No! I am asking you to shut it off!”

Me: “Why?”

Customer: “Because my church says that Doctor Who is evil, and I am asking you to shut it off.”

Me: “Umm, no, I am not turning it off. Besides, I have my headphones in, so you don’t have to watch it.”

Customer: “No, you have to respect my views and turn it off! It’s against my religion; it’s evil! Now turn it off!”

(The customer grabs for my phone. I pull my phone away before she can grab it.)

Me: “Don’t touch my phone!”

Customer:Doctor Who is evil! They are trying to brain-wash our young minds! They want us to support gay marriage and be atheist!”

Me: “Well, if you really did understand Doctor Who, you would have seen that the Tenth Doctor was talking about Christmas, and he said that he was there when Jesus was born. Also the Doctor is very open-minded; he would save you even if you did call him evil.”

Customer:DOCTOR WHO IS EVIL!”

(The customer continues screaming and cussing and eventually gets herself kicked out. Afterwards, one of the restaurant’s workers comes up to me.)

Worker: “Sorry about that.”

Me: “It’s okay!”

Worker: “Best Doctor?”

Me: “Four, duh!”

(We then high five, and I go my way.)

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Charged Up With Anger–If Nothing Else, Part 2

| Right | September 25, 2013

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