Gift Card And Ye Shall Receive

| Texas, USA | At The Checkout

(I’ve just finished a week of cashier training for a large retail store. This is my first customer.)

Me: “Hello, how are you?”

Customer: “At the end, I have a gift card I want to use. Is that cool?”

Me: “Sure thing!” *rings up her items* “Your total is $10.97.”

Customer: “There’s no way that’s my total.”

Me: “Pardon?”

Customer: “I said I had a gift card. Add it now.”

Me: “Maybe I’m misunderstanding…did you want to purchase one and add money to it?”

Customer: “No! I want to use my gift card to pay for my s***!”

Me: *slightly panicking* “I apologize. May I swipe it for you?”

Customer: “Ugh! No! I don’t have it here with me!”

Me: “Ma’am, you need to have it with—”

Customer: *throws hands up in the air* “Forget it! I’ll go somewhere where they know what they’re doing!” *leaves without paying for anything*

More Daylight, Less Twilight, Part 6

| Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Top

(I’m helping a customer in her early teens.)

Customer: “Hey, I’m trying to find a game for my boyfriend. Could you help me?”

Me: “Yeah, sure. What sort of—”

Customer: “Oh, the guy on this is hot! What’s this like?”

Me: “Oh, that’s the new Castlevania game. Basically, it’s about killing vampires and werewolves.”

Customer: “What!?! Why would anyone buy this?! Vampires and werewolves are cool and hot! You make me sick selling this! Haven’t you ever seen Twilight!? Vampires are like people!” *runs out of the shop with tears in her eyes*

Me: “I feel so sorry for her boyfriend.”

Related:
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
Less Twilight, More Daylight

The Cow Goes Moy

| Singapore | Food & Drink

(I work at a popular soy milk shop that sells all soy products only.)

Customer: “What kind of ice cream is this?”

Me: “It’s vanilla ice cream, but we used soy milk instead of milk.”

Customer: “Oh, um, how about this smoothie?”

Me: “It’s a soy milk shake.”

Customer: “And this?”

Me: “It’s hot soy milk with glass jelly.”

Customer: “Why do you have so much soy?”

Me: “Ma’am, we specialize in soy products.”

Customer: “Oh! So you have like, a soy cow, then?”

Who’s Dating Who

| California, USA | Food & Drink

(I work as a server in a popular restaurant. This happens on the toughest day of the restaurant year: Valentine’s Day. A couple in their 20s has just been served their meal.)

Me: “How are you both doing this evening? Can I bring you anything else?”

Customer: “We aren’t doing very well at all! You aren’t doing nearly as much as you can to make my lady feel special!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I was trying to make you both feel special this evening. I thought you might want to be the one to make your lady feel extra special.”

Customer: “It’s not my job to make her feel special. It’s your job!”

Customer’s date: *looks like she wants to die of embarrassment*

Like Her Hearing, Her Cents Comes And Goes

| Portland, OR, USA | At The Checkout, Money

Customer: “Hey, I believe I was charged the wrong price for this item. Could you refund it to me?”

Me: “Oh, of course, ma’am. Let me just see the receipt and I’d be happy to.”

Customer: “Here it is.”

(The customer hands me a receipt that is over three feet long and totals over $300.)

Me: “All right, which did you believe you were over-charged on?”

Customer: *points out three items*

Me: “Ma’am, it seems that you were charged an extra two cents for these two items here. Do you really want me to refund you the two pennies?”

Customer: “YES! And to be sure I want you to return and re-ring my purchase to make sure.”

Me: “Okay.”

(20 minutes later, after re-ringing her entire purchase, I let her know that she’ll be getting two pennies back.)

Customer: “What?! Why did you even do that if it was only two cents?! How stupid can you be?”

Me: “Um, ma’am, I informed you that you’d only get the two pennies back before I did the transaction.”

Customer: “No you didn’t! I can’t believe the incompetence of the people working here!”

(She takes her bag and walks out of the store, yelling obscenities the whole way.)

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