Don’t Go Crazy

| Right | January 10, 2014

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Free Ticket

| Right | January 10, 2014

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A Compete Idiot

, | Liverpool, England, UK | Right | January 10, 2014

Customer: “Where do you keep [Competitor Store] branded beans, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry, madam. We don’t carry our competitors lines. We only stock our own branded goods.”

Customer: “That’s silly. You could make money selling other stores’ goods.”

Me: “That’s an interesting concept. I wonder why no one has thought of it before?”

Customer: “Well, it’s all the same stuff inside anyway. They just use their own brand labels.”

Me: “In that case, would you like to try our own brand beans?”

Customer: “Oh, no. I prefer [Competitor Brand] beans. They taste much nicer.”

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This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 27

| USA | Right | January 10, 2014

(I work at a call center for a major department store’s credit card – a card you can only use in that specific store. You could also make your monthly payment for the card in person at the store. On a rare occasion this can cause a small bit of confusion to some customers.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store Name] credit. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I just received a bill from you for something I’ve already paid for! You need to fix this right now!”

Me: “I’m very sorry for the confusion. Let me look at your account so we can get this straightened out. It says you purchased [quite expensive item] on [date]. Do you remember purchasing this item?”

Customer: “I already told you I did, but I’ve already paid for this!”

Me: “Did you pay cash in the store, but the clerk charged your card accidentally when they entered your personal information for your warranty?”

Customer: “No! I didn’t pay cash! I put it on my card! I shouldn’t be getting a bill from you!”

Me: “So, it was charged to a different credit card, not your [Store] credit card?”

Customer: “Are you stupid? I used my [Store] credit card, but I’ve already paid for this. I’m not paying for it again!”

Me: “I apologize for asking so many questions. I just want to make sure I understand you correctly so I can solve your problem. You used your [Store] credit card to make the purchase. Did you also make a payment to your card in the store?”

Customer: “Why would I do that? I already paid for it WITH my card! Why would I give you any more money?”

Me: “Ma’am, you do understand that when you pay for an item with your credit card, you’re signing an agreement to pay for your purchase later? A credit card is sort of like a loan so you can make the purchase you want today, and then make small payments on it over time.”

Customer: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! What’s the point of having a credit card if I still have to pay for what I’m buying?!”

 

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Mom Is Breaking Bad Habits

| Australia | Right | January 10, 2014

(I am serving a customer who is purchasing over $600 worth of clothing and accessories for her son’s upcoming 21st birthday, as well as making an exchange on his behalf.)

Me: “Okay. Was there anything else before I process the exchange?”

Customer: “No. Here you go!”

(She hands me the bag with the original item. As I remove it from the bag, an obviously used meth pipe falls onto the counter.)

Me: *in disbelief* “Um…”

Customer: “Oh, my God! What is that?”

Me: “Um, it’s a pipe…”

Customer: “A pipe? Like a smoking pipe? What is it for?”

Me: *I pause, unsure of how to break it to her*

Customer: “Is it for marijuana?!”

(By now she is already visibly flustered, looking incredibly angry, and, most of all, mortified. I decide not to tell her what it really is, in fear of her having a heart attack in front of me.)

Me: “Yeah. It’s for marijuana.”

Customer: “I’m going to kill him! What else is he doing? Oh, my God. I’m so embarrassed!”

Me: “He’s obviously got a lot of explaining to do?”

Customer: “I’ll have to confront him about this. Who knows if he’ll be getting anything at all for his birthday?!”

(To my surprise, she actually still purchased everything. I do wonder if her son confessed to what he was actually smoking!)

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