Sea Of Electricity

| NV, USA | Right | September 30, 2013

(I’m handing out inner tubes for a popular water slide. Several young men come up; one of them has a tattoo on his side that makes it look like his skin is peeling away to reveal mechanical inner workings. Shortly after they get in line, two little girls come up. They stare at the tattooed man for a few moments, and then one taps him on the leg.)

Girl #1: “Are you sure you can go in the water?”

Tattooed Man: “Uh… I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Girl #1: “But what about that?” *points to his tattoo* “My mommy says electric stuff can’t get wet.”

Tattooed Man: *grinning* “Oh, don’t worry. I’m an underwater explorer robot. I’m built for that stuff.”

Girl #2: “So you won’t break? Even if you get water all inside you?”

Tattooed Man: “Nope!”

Girls #1 & #2: *gaping at him* “Wow…”

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Do As You’re Told Or You’re On Your Bike

| USA | Right | September 29, 2013

(A group of young kids comes into the store. One of them is running around, asking questions without paying attention to the answers, being messy, and generally being annoying. Also, the store is going to be shut down in a few weeks, which has understandably left all of us on edge.)

Polite Kid: “I’d like this one, please.”

Me: “Sure! That’ll be—”

Rude Kid: “My friend wants this one!” *shoves another game and gift card into my face*

Me: “Did you want to do this in the same transaction as this friend, or a different one?”

Rude Kid: “Different one!”

Me: “Then you’re going to have to wait.”

Rude Kid: *turns to friend* “Oh, hear that? You gotta wait.”

(I finish the transactions, and watch the kids mess around in the store.)

Rude Kid: “Yeah, so, we’ll have to come back tomorrow. I’ll be loaded up again by then; I’m getting $20!”

(The group starts to leave. Another customer comes in and approaches me.)

Customer: “Hey, I wanted to let you know those bikes are blocking the door.”

(I nod to the customer and turn to the kids who are heading for the door.)

Me: “Hey, just so you know; next time you can’t leave your bikes there.”

Rude Kid: “Not like it matters, since you’ll be shut down soon anyway.”

Me: “Next time, we won’t sell you anything if you leave those bikes there. Use the bike rack, or don’t come in again.”

(The rude kid finally shuts up and leaves quickly.)

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Selective Stealing

| Portugal | Right | September 28, 2013

(I’m attending to a client that has her bag and other stuff on the counter, and has to fill out some forms.)

Me: “Do you mind if I attend to another client while you fill out the forms?”

Client #1: “Sure!”

(I call another client, and she has to fill out some forms as well, so I return to Client #1.)

Me: “All done. That will be €5.50.”

Client #1: “Where’s my money?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

Client #1: “I had my money right here in the counter, and it’s gone!”

(We both look for the money, trying to figure out if it has fallen to the floor. Suddenly I look at Client #2, and realize what has happened.)

Me: *to Client #2* “Ma’am, did you take the money that was on the counter?”

Client #2: *after a long pause* “Yes, I did.”

Client #1: “Why on earth would you do that?!”

Client #2: “Well, I didn’t know it was yours; I thought it was hers!” *points to me*

Me: “So that would make it okay?!”

Client #2: *happily* “Exactly!”

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They Have No Drive

, | Markham, ON, Canada | Right | September 28, 2013

(I am working in the drive-thru window. I am talking to a customer and we both notice a group of four young teens WALKING down the drive-thru lane.)

Customer: *laughs* “Don’t you love how silly kids are? Well, good night!”

(The customer leaves, and the teens approach the drive-thru window.)

Teen: “Yea, hi. I want to order.”

Me: “Yea, sorry. Unfortunately I can’t serve you here unless you are in a car. You are welcome to come inside though.”

Teen: “What are you talking about? We are in a car, see! I’m the driver holding the wheel.” *holds imaginary wheel* “And my passengers!” *points at his three friends*

Me: “Sorry, but unless you can crash your car and dent my wall. I can’t serve you here.”

Teen: “Okay!” *makes screeching noises* “CRASH!”

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Capital Idea

| Right | September 27, 2013

Bad-argument-Hippie-strikes-again

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