Your Argument Doesn’t Hold Water, Part 2

| Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids, Top

(I work in the gift shop of one of the most popular rides in the park. This ride has a height requirement as part of its safety regulations. It’s a water ride, not a roller coaster, so there is some wiggle room. NOTE: Merchandise/Gift Shops and Ride Operations are two completely separate areas; Merchandise people have no way to influence how Operations people do their stuff, and vice versa. A guest comes in and starts complaining to me about the height-checker.)

Guest: “Hey, so that guy at the ride entrance won’t let my kids on. He said they were too short. We have annual passes and they’ve ridden this ride dozens of times. You need to fix this.”

Me: “I am very sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately Merchandise can not influence Ride Operations. Sometimes, if they wear thicker shoes and look taller they get let on, so maybe that was what got your kids on before.”

(She has actually been pretty calm up until this point. Mad, but calm. Not anymore…)

Guest: “This is BULLS***! It’s because my kids are mixed, right? He let these two little white girls on, and they were shorter than my boys!”

Me: *stunned* “Um, I don’t know anything about that, ma’am. I can get my supervisor for you if you’d like?”

Guest: “Yes, please do that! Maybe s*** will get done in this place!”

(I quickly run to the back of the store and find my supervisor.)

Me: “Hey, uh… you need to come out here.”

Supervisor: “What’s wrong?”

Me: “There’s this lady complaining the height-checker won’t let her kids on the ride, and she says she thinks its because her kids are mixed.”

Supervisor: “Okay, I’ll see if I can deal with what’s going on. Good job.”

(My supervisor heads out to deal with the guest, and I follow.)

Supervisor: “Hello, ma’am, I am the supervisor for this store. How can I help you?”

Guest: “Yeah! That racist dumba** at the front of the ride won’t let my kids on! He say’s they’re too short, but he let these little white girls and they were shorter than my kids!”

Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am… unfortunately, Merchandise doesn’t have any say in how Ride Operations works. What I can do is try to get a hold of the manager for the ride, and then we can work this out with the employee in question. Is that alright?”

Guest: “Fine, I guess. I’ll take that bastard to court if I have to!”

Supervisor: “Hopefully it won’t come to that. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I will be right back with the ride manager.”

(My supervisor leaves to go find the ride’s manager. He’s gone for about ten minutes before these two boys come running up, soaking wet, and start yelling excitedly at the guest. An African-American guy also shows up, also soaking wet. They have obviously just just gotten off the ride. From what they’re saying to each other, it’s clear this is her family.)

Guest: “What the h***? Why are you all so wet?”

Guest’s Husband: “We got splashed by the cannons at the end of the ride.”

Guest: “What?! That racist bastard at the front wouldn’t let the boys get on! Said they were too short! But he let those white girls on, and they were shorter!”

Guest’s Son: “No, mom, he said we were too little to go on alone. Since you didn’t want to go with us, we went and found dad by the roller coaster.”

(By now, my supervisor has returned with the ride manager.)

Ride Manager: “Hello, ma’am, I am the manager of this ride. I heard that you were having a problem with one of my employees. Can you elaborate?”

Guest: *turns bright red, stays completely silent, and leaves with her family*

Related:
Your Argument Doesn’t Hold Water

You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine

, | West Monroe, LA, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “I said I wanted tater tots, not fries.”

Car Hop: “Ma’am, that is an order of tater tots.”

Customer: “No, it’s not. I see a fry in there!”

Car Hop: “It’s just one fry, ma’am. It wasn’t put in there on purpose.”

Customer: “WHERE’S YOUR MANAGER?! I ordered tots, and that’s all I want! I’M ALLERGIC TO POTATOES!”

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From Penny Foolish To Pound Wise

| UK | Money

(I work in a well-known UK pound store. A middle-aged customer and her teenage daughter walk up to me.)

Customer: “Excuse me. How much is this?” *holds up item*

Me: “It’s £1; everything here is £1.”

(I smile kindly, nodding towards the 20-foot sign hanging on the wall for all to see.)

Customer: “Oh, wonderful! Thank you very much!”

Me: “No problem!”

(No less than 5 seconds later, she calls to me again.)

Customer: “Oh, excuse me! How much is this?”

Me: “It’s £1. Everything is £1.”

(The customer’s daughter covers her face.)

Customer: “Are you sure dear? Maybe you should check…”

Me: “I don’t need to madam; I know it’s £1. Everything here is.”

(Not believing me, the customer huffs, asks another member of staff, and gets the same answer.)

Customer: “Well, that seems cheap.”

Customer’s Daughter: “For god’s sake, mum, that’s the point! It’s a POUND SHOP! EVERYTHING IS £1!”

Customer: “Well, they should put up a sign and make it more clear!”

(Simultaneously, her daughter, my colleague, and I all point at the giant sign.)

Customer: “That’s not clear! You should make it CLEAR!”

(The customer turns and stomps off.)

Customer’s Daughter: “I’m not taking her anywhere again.”

(Two weeks later, the same customer returns. This time, another customer is asking me a similar question about pricing.)

Another Customer: *to me* “How much is this?”

Customer: *jumps in* “It’s £1! Everything is £1!” *huffs* “Some people are SO stupid!”

Even Hills Have Bills

| Alderwood, WA, USA | Movies & TV

(I work as floor staff for a major theater company. This happened about two and a half years ago, just prior to a haircut. Two teenage girls walk up to the box office.)

Me: “How’s it goin’?”

Customer #1: “Two for… oh, what’s that called?”

Customer #2: *looks at me* “He should know. He was in it!”

Me: *baffled* “Um, I’m sorry?”

Customer #2: “You’re that guy, right? That Superbad guy, right?”

Me: “…Jonah Hill?”

Customer #2: “Yeah, that’s right!”

Customer #1: “Hey, yeah!”

Me: “I guarantee you I’m not Jonah Hill.”

Customer #2: “Are you sure?”

Me: “If I was Jonah Hill, why would I be working for minimum wage at a movie theater?”

Customer #2: “Maybe you need a second job?”

A Beautiful Soul

| NH, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top

(There’s a photo up on the wall of the studio that has a coworker, a former coworker, and myself in it. People unfortunately usually comment on the former coworker’s appearance. A family comes in with four girls; the second oldest is about 15 and looks at the photo.)

15-year-old Girl: “Oh, she’s really ugly. Look at this ugly girl!”

Mother: “Don’t say things like that out loud.”

15-year-old Girl: “But she’s so ugly!” *turns to her five-year-old sister* “She’s ugly, isn’t she? See how ugly she is!”

Little Sister: “Um, I think ALL these girls are pretty!” *smiles and walks away*

(She made my day!)

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