Tripped Up

| Georgia, USA | Family & Kids, Uncategorized

(One of the kids at my martial arts camp has gotten so bad that I have to call to his mother.)

Me: “Ma’am, your son has not been paying attention during training, and is disrupting the other kids.”

Mother: “Well, maybe my son needs a male influence instead of a little girl!”

Me: “The kids are arranged according to proficiency level. We can’t move him.”

Mother: “That’s funny…you say you can’t control him, but you can threaten to throw him down a flight of stairs easily enough!”

Me: “Who told you I threatened to throw him down a flight of stairs?”

Mother: “He did! He said you threatened to throw him down the stairs!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is a one-story building.”

*brief pause*

Mother: “I will talk to him tonight.”

It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 6

| Toronto, Canada | Money, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], How may I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to pay my bill to [company] for $**.**.”

Me: “Sure, ma’am. Would you like your confirmation code?”

Caller: “Sure.”

Me: “Okay, it’s H–”

Caller: “How do you spell that?”

Related:
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 5
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 4
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 3
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call, Part 2
It’s Gonna Be A Long Call

So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

| United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Uncategorized

(I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two youngs boys is ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

(The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

(The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

Mother, to me and the pharmacist: “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

The Gondorian Is Always Right

| Springfield, MO, USA | Geeks Rule, Top

(I’m a customer here. When you place an order, the cashier asks for a name to call when the order is ready. As I’m finishing my lunch and getting ready to go, I hear over the intercom speakers…)

Employee: “Aragorn, the firstborn son of Arathorn, your order is ready!”

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Because Insurance Is Such A Scream (Comic)

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Old Comics


Original Story | Comic by EvilNessie