The Klass Of 2015

| England, UK | School

(I’m working clearing, which is when we take in calls about students who are in their last ditch effort to get into the university.)

Me: “Okay, that’s fine. I’m going to process your application now. Can I please take your first name?”

Student: “Yes. It’s…” *unintelligible speech*

Me: “Can you please spell that for me?”

Student: “Ugh, if I have to. It’s K…” *unintelligible*

Me: “Okay, can you repeat that for me? It starts with K?”

Student: “Yeah, you know. K as in Chicken.”

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished, Part 2

| Utah, USA | At The Checkout

Boss: “Hey, I need to talk to you for a second.”

Me: “Is there a problem?”

Boss: “I received a complaint about you from a customer. By our rules we have to pull you aside and tell you.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the complaint?”

Boss: “Um, you were too nice.”

Me: “Come again?”

Boss: “Apparently, you were trying too hard to be nice and doing your job bagging for her. She got offended by it, so….be more careful, I guess.”

Me: “Wait, I’m in trouble because I was being too nice?”

Boss: “Yeah.”

Me: “This is a new one.”

Related:
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Crunchy Convergent Evolution

| Dayton, OH, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: *frantically* “Ma’am? Ma’am! My noodles are extremely dry!”

Me: “Those are not noodles. They are tortilla strips.”

My Head Megahertz

, | Henderson, NV, USA | Technology, Top

Customer: “I need a new laptop. I want one better than the one I have. I want to spend no more than 600 dollars.”

(After finding out that he has a machine running Windows 98 with 512 MB of RAM and 60 GB of hard drive space, I provide him several different laptop choices within his price range. They have either 3 GB or 4 GB of RAM, running Windows 7.)

Customer: “No, no, no! I said better! I have 512 memory, but you keep recommending only 3 and 4! Also, 7 is way lower than 98! Get me someone who knows what I mean by better!”

Right Next To The Pee Not And Cabinet

| California, USA | Food & Drink

Customer: “Do you have any gurtz-demeanor?”

Me: “Do you mean Gewürztraminer?”

Customer: “Yeah, gurtz-demeanor!”

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