Complimentary Vs. Complimentary

| Brighton, UK | Food & Drink, Money

(Having just eaten a generous serving of risotto, a customer waves me over, pointing to his empty plate.)

Me: “Hi there. Everything alright with your meal?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I’m still hungry. I’d like some more.”

Me: “There are dessert menus on the tables and specials on the board—”

Customer: “No. I want more of this.”

Me: “Sure. Another risotto will be £6.95, please.”

Customer: “I don’t want to PAY! I just want some more. You should take it as a compliment!”

Not Always Rights

| Dallas, TX, USA | Hotels & Lodging

(I’m the front office manager of an upscale hotel.)

Me: “Good morning, I am the manager on duty. I heard that you wanted to speak with me?”

Customer: “Yes! There were long lines for the elevators this morning, and it caused me to miss breakfast with the rest of my group!”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, today we have about 600 people checking out, and if they all attempt to leave at the same time that could cause some waits for the elevators.”

Customer: “Well, what are you going to do for me?”

Me: “Ma’am, we really cannot control when our guests decide to come and go. The hotel did not cause your misfortune, so I really cannot compensate you.”

Customer: “What do you mean you can’t control when they come and go? You booked all of these people up! You knew they would be leaving on the same day! Why did you let them all leave on the same day?”

Me: “Ma’am, as I explained, we have no way of telling our guests when they are allowed to leave. I’m sorry you missed your breakfast, but the best that I can do is offer you my apologies.”

Customer: “You have to give me something! I read online that if you complain about anything at a hotel, they have to give you something! IT’S THE LAW!”

A Sign Of The Times

| Manitou Springs, CO, USA | Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

(Note: I am working the ticket counter giving out prizes. A guy and his teenage daughter are examining a glass display case with stuff inside. Suddenly, the daughter backs up a foot and launches herself directly into the case, almost knocking it over.)

Me: “Please do NOT push on the glass!”

Father: *angrily* “Well, there should be a sign or something! How was she supposed to know that would happen?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but people don’t generally throw themselves in to our GLASS cases.”

Father: “Well, there should be a sign! Geeze!” *storms out*

Just Point And Spook

| Michigan, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Customer: *hands me a photo* “Hello there. Can you help me scan and make duplicates of a photo?”

Me: “Sure thing! We just use this scanner here—”

(At that moment, I look at photo and notice a white camera strap taking up half the photo. I can see the camera’s brand name on the strap, blurred but readable.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me? Are you sure you want to scan this photo? It seems the camera strap got caught in the lens.”

Customer: “Really? I didn’t notice that. Where is it?”

Me: “Right here, ma’am.” *points at the camera strap*

Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! That’s the spirit of my grandfather! How can you even claim it is a camera strap!?! You are just a terrible employee!” *storms off*

In Need Of A Worldly EdUKation

| Yellowstone, WY, USA | Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

(I’m English, and work at Yellowstone Park selling ice cream as a summer work experience abroad. Often, my accent catches people off guard, and I usually have to explain why I’m there. A customer comes up to pay.)

Me: “Okay, that will be $2.95, please.”

Customer: “Hey, where’s your accent from? Are you Australian?”

Me: “Actually, I’m from England. I’m just working her for my summer between University.”

Customer: “That’s cool! How long have you been in America?”

Me: “Um, about two months.”

Customer: “And is this your first time in America?”

Me: “It is. I’m loving it!”

Customer: “Wow! You speak really good English for only being here for two months!”

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