Slanged Up Gets You Banged Up

| Norfolk, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Criminal & Illegal, Money, Top

(I work in a second-hand store. We are similar to a pawn store, but we don’t offer loans. It’s been a really hectic day, and my patience is starting to wear a little thin. A wannabe ‘thug-gangsta’ comes in, and throws a few PS3 games at me.)

Thug: “I wanna pawn deez.”

Me: “Sorry man, we don’t pawn. If you’d like to sell them, I’ll take a look for you.”

(The thug nods, and I check the games for condition, and then look up the games for their value.)

Me: “Alright man, given how these games have been marked down, you’re looking at about $27.”

Thug: “H*** no! You know how much I paid for dem?!”

Me: “Yeah, I’m a gamer. I understand what price the games were, but given how old these games are, they’re not worth as much now.”

Thug: “F*** you! They ain’ worf nothin’!”

Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to keep the language down, or take your things and leave.”

Thug: “Who the f*** is you?! You can’t tell me what to do; matter of fact I got the ratchet in the car!”

(Ratchet is slang for a gun. I decide to act stupid.)

Me: “A Ratchet? What kind is it? Snap-On, Mac-Tools? What? Bring it in I’ll see if I can’t get you anything for it.”

(The thug starts to get louder. A regular of mine walks in. He’s a cop, and off duty. He’s watching the thug with an arched eyebrow.)

Thug: “No you fat mother-f*****. I got a gun in the car, and I will shoot you!”

Me: “Sir, do you realize you’re threatening me in front of an off-duty police officer?”

Thug: “Ain’t no mother-f****** police in here!”

(I see the cop behind him pull out his wallet to show his badge, and I just smirk.)

Me: “Turn around.”

(The thug turns around, and sees the badge. He snatches his games off the table, and runs out of the door. The police officer gives me his cell phone number, telling me to call him if that thug comes back.)

Blood Money

| NY, USA | Health & Body, Money

(A customer walks up to my teller window, and throws two rolls of pennies down. They are covered in wet blood. I try not to look disgusted.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; I can’t accept that.”

Customer: “Why not? It’s good American money.”

Me: “I’m sure it is, but it’s covered in blood; I’m not going to touch that.”

Customer: “It’s fine; it’s just my blood.”

Me: “Excuse me while I get my manager.”

(I happily escape to the back to try to settle my stomach while the manager talks to the man.)

Manager: “Sir, we can’t accept these pennies like this.”

Customer: “It’s perfectly good American money!”

Manager: “Yes, but we can’t take it like this. If you like, I can give you new wrappers. You can re-roll the pennies, and then we can deposit them for you.”

Customer: “F*** this country! My money isn’t good in a bank; it isn’t good anywhere!” *storms out*

A Cent-less Attack

, | WA, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I’m taking money at the first window. A car pulls up with a middle-aged customer driving, and what looks to be her older mother in the passenger seat.)

Me: “Hi, your total is—.”

Mother: “Where do we get my food?! I’m hungry! This line is taking too long!”

Daughter: “You have to pay first, mom.”

Mother: “I’m getting it!”

(She scrounges around for money in her purse. She hands me what’s supposed to be exact change. I count it three times, and she’s a penny short.)

Me: “Ma’am, do you have a penny?”

Mother: “Are you serious? I’m not giving you no d*** penny! Where’s my food?!”

Me: “Ma’am, I need that penny, or my till will come out short.”

Mother: “And I said you ain’t getting no d*** penny!”

(She starts shouting at her daughter.)

Mother: “Drive to the next window!”

(The daughter looks horrified about her mother’s behavior, and doesn’t move.)

Mother: “Fine! I’ll get it myself!”

(The mother gets out of the car, and starts walking toward the next window.)

Me: “Ma’am, can you please get back in your car?”

Mother: “F*** you!”

(The daughter is horrified, apologizes to me, and drives forward. A minute later, I see the mother walk back to my open window as I’m paying out another customer. She throws a penny at me, which hits me in the knuckle and bruises it.)

Mother: “There’s your d*** penny!”