How To Cancel Death, Part 2

| Dallas, TX, USA | Right | February 19, 2014

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, hello. I’m calling to cancel my service because, you see, my wife is no longer with us. I haven’t been able to get into the account for some months now because, of course, I didn’t have her info.”

Me: “Oh, I understand. I’m sorry to hear that. Let me pull up your account.”

(In the background, I hear a woman’s voice.)

Woman: “Honey, where are the car keys!?”

Customer: “Shut up! You’re supposed to be dead!”

Woman: “WHAT!?” *click*

 

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Not Acceptable

| Right | February 18, 2014

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Dumb Generation

| Right | February 18, 2014

funny-futurama-fry-meme-not-sure-getting-older-generation-dumb-pics

You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number

| Right | February 18, 2014

The Bruise Is A Ruse

, | Orlando, FL, USA | Right | February 18, 2014

(The restaurant I work for allows us to dress up on Halloween, provided we do not wear a mask or anything revealing, too scary, or otherwise inappropriate. I dress up like a female biker as this is the easiest way to dress up and still follow the rules. To add little extra touches to my costume I would slap on some fake tattoos and use makeup to create a black eye. I am working drive thru and a few people comment on the black eye, but would just remark on what a good job I had done with the makeup. Then a gentleman pulls up to the window.)

Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you okay?”

Me: *joking* “Yeah. You should see the other guy, though.”

Customer: *completely serious* “You mean to tell me a MAN did that to you! I thought you got into a fight with another girl!”

Me: “No, sir. No one did this to me. It’s makeup.”

Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie if someone is hitting you.”

Me: “I’m perfectly aware of that, sir, but I assure you it’s just makeup. See?”

(I wipe my finger on the ‘bruise’ and show him the color on my finger.)

Customer: “Oh, okay. I thought I was going to have to beat someone up for you.”

Me: “I can tell you right now: if someone ever hit me I would make sure they SERIOUSLY regretted it immediately!”

Customer: “I bet you would!”

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