Unfashionably Late

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Top

(My store offers fashion shows. It’s the day before an event, and I’m making last minute arrangements when I get paged that someone is there to talk about the show.)

Customer: “I’d like to schedule a fashion show with you guys to support my women’s club.”

Me: “Of course! Let me explain to you quickly what we’ll do for you.”

(I give her a quick rundown of the fashion show program, and what we offer, but she’s tapping her foot and looking at her watch.)

Customer: “I’m REALLY in a rush here; can we hurry it up?”

Me: “Sure! Tell you what, all the information you need is in this packet, and there’s the contracts I will need you to sign. Why don’t you return those to me when you’re able, and we’ll work out a date that isn’t taken?”

Customer: “A date that isn’t taken? I need it NOW!”

Me: “Now?”

Customer: “The event starts in an hour; I just need you to bring the stuff.”

Me: “Ma’am… I schedule fashion shows six months out.”

Customer: “What? You mean that you won’t do it?”

Me: “On this short notice? No.”

Customer: “But I’ve been advertising this for months! We’ve sold over 100 tickets! We have themed the whole event around it!”

Me: “Wait, so you printed invitations and got decorations, but didn’t talk to me until now?”

Customer: “Oh, just grab your models! I don’t have time for this.”

Me: “I don’t just keep the models in the back room!”

Pre-Paying It Forward

| Canada | Bad Behavior, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(I work at a gas station that with prepay pumps. To be clear, there are pump-toppers on all pre-pay pumps stating so, and huge signs that are about the height of an average person at the end of the pumps. I notice a customer repeatedly trying to pump without paying first, and is getting increasingly angry. I buzz him over the intercom.)

Me: “Sir, that’s a pre-pay pump only. I’ll need you to hang up the handle and pay first. Thank you.”

Customer: “What the f*** is that supposed to mean?!”

Me: “It means those pumps are pre-pay only. Before you can fuel, you have to insert a credit or debit card and select how much you’d like to pump.”

(There’s silence on the line, so I assume that the customer has understood, and is starting the transaction. However, a few minutes later, he comes storming inside looking angry.)

Customer: “You make that pump not pre-whatever the h*** it is!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; it’s locked onto pre-pay. I can’t change it; only the manager can, and he’s not in until tomorrow.”

Customer: “I said change the f****** pump now!”

Me: “I can’t change the pump; I’m sorry. If you continue to make a scene, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, as this is not appropriate.”

Customer: “How about next time you put some f****** signs up, so people know that those are f****** pay first pumps!”

Me: “How about next time you look when you drive in? There are signs the size of me at the end of all the pumps stating whether they’re pre-pay or not.”

(There’s another pause. The customer looks a little astonished and at a loss for what to say.)

Customer: “Well… f*** you!”

(He turns to storm out of the store.)

Me: “And you have a wonderful day, sir!”

The Cake Buyer Is A Lie

| MI, USA | Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers, Money

(I work in the deli right beside the bakery. I witness an exchange between a customer and the bakery supervisor.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I need to pick up a cake order. It should be under [name].”

Supervisor: “Sure, let me go get it.”

(She goes into the cooler to retrieve the cake, and brings it out to the customer.)

Supervisor: “Okay, ma’am. Here it is.”

Customer: “Oh, by the way, I already paid for the cake when I ordered it. So I can just walk out with it, right?”

Supervisor: “Well, I don’t see a receipt with your order slip ma’am. Do you happen to have one with you? We usually ask for the receipt to be returned to us so that we know you paid for it.”

Customer: “No! No one told me that I had to do that! But I already paid for it!”

Supervisor: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but everyone who works here knows that we always ask for a receipt to be returned to us. If you don’t have a receipt, I’m afraid you’re going to have to pay for this now.”

Customer: “I told you that I already paid for this cake!”

(The customer waves a slip of paper in the air.)

Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS!”

Supervisor: “Ma’am, that paper you’re waving around just means we took your order. It does not mean that you paid for it.”

Customer: “I HAVE THIS! I HAVE THIS! IT SHOULD BE GOOD ENOUGH!”

Supervisor: “That slip of paper just means you placed an order with us. It doesn’t prove that you already paid for your cake. Anyone who places an order with us could bring that slip of paper back, lie and say they already paid for their order. I’m not saying that’s what you’re doing, but I can’t just let you leave with this cake without proof of purchasing it.”

Customer: *leaves in a huff without the cake*

Related:
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 4
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 3
The Cake Is A Lie, Part 2