The Most Confusing Meal Of The Day

| Ireland | Right | January 28, 2014

(I work in a call centre making reservations for a large hotel chain. A customer has just asked for a particular date in a particular hotel.)

Me: “I have the standard room for $99, or bed and breakfast for $109. The superior room for $129—”

Customer: “Wait! So the first two rooms are standard rooms?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “So why is the one more expensive?”

Me: “Well, room only is $99 and if you want breakfast included it is $109.”

Customer: “I don’t understand.”

Me: “If you want to eat breakfast in the morning it’s $10 more.”

Customer: “I still don’t see why I would pay more for the same room!”

Me: “You don’t pay more for the room, you pay the extra for the food. You can have just the room for $99 or the room and breakfast at the restaurant for $109.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why I should pay more.”

Me: “I have no idea how else to explain this.”

(She never made a booking. We were ‘too confusing.’)

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Trying To Remember Without A Dismember

| BC, Canada | Right | January 28, 2014

(I work at the customer service desk of a member-owned co-op store.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

Member: “This is [Name]. I need to phone [Local Celebrity] but I don’t have his phone number and he’s not on the phone book.”

Me: “I’m sorry. We can’t give out the phone numbers of our members.”

Member: “But you don’t understand! This is very important! He is coming over for dinner, and I was planning to serve chicken, but now I’m thinking he may be a vegetarian! I have to ask him!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I still can’t give you his phone number.”

Member: “But I’m a member! I own the store! You have to do what I say!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t just give other member’s information from their file.”

Member: “Fine! Can you call him instead, ask him if he eats chicken, and then call me back?”

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Could Have Said Sunny Side Up

| Right | January 27, 2014

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Pity Laugh

| Right | January 27, 2014

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A Good Customer Is A Fresh Breath Of Air

, | NJ, USA | Right | January 27, 2014

(I enter a local fast food place. There’s only one customer ahead of me standing to the side. Just as I get to the counter to place my order he’s given an order of french fries. He lets out an incredibly loud and dramatic sigh, then proceeds to yell at the woman who gave them to him.)

Customer: “You know, you should just LISTEN to your customers!”

Employee: “What’s wrong, sir?”

Customer: “I said I wanted the FRESH ONES!”

Employee: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I wasn’t told. That batch just came out a minute ago. It’s still hot from the fryer.”

Customer: “I KNOW THAT! I specifically said I wanted the fresh batch you were working on!

Employee: “All right. Again, I didn’t know that, sir. I’m sorry. I’ll take those back and the other ones will be right up.”

Customer: “It’s just that you should LISTEN TO THE CUSTOMER! When he ASKS for something he should GET IT!”

(By this point all other conversation in the front of the restaurant has stopped and everyone – customers and employee alike – are staring at the man who’s still raising a fuss over something that has essentially already been resolved. He grabs his tray and stomps over to the far side of the counter, standing there with arms folded and huffing like someone a tenth his age. I finally step up to the register.)

Me: “Yes, I’ll have the [combo meal], and I’d like my soda made FRESH, please. Mix the syrup up yourself. And if you could take a straw and blow the bubbles into it right in front of me that would be great!”

(The other customer apparently didn’t hear me but at least I got a laugh out of the crew and the other people in line!)

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