Yes!

| Right | February 24, 2014

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Guaranteed Room For Improvement

| USA | Right | February 24, 2014

(I am checking in a guest. I do the usual: swipe his card, and make the keys.)

Me: “Here are your keys, sir. Please sign this registration card.”

Guest: “No problem!” *signs with a flourish and takes keys*

(The computer beeps, and shows that his card was declined.)

Me: “Uh, excuse me? Sir? Sir?”

Guest: *looks over at me while walking away*

Me: “Your card was declined. Do you have another?”

Guest: *blank stare* “No.”

Me: “Well, I’m afraid that I can’t let you have the room unless you give us another method of payment.”

(I hold my hand out for the keys. The guest clutches them to his chest keeps walking away, faster this time.)

Me: “Sir, please give me back the keys.”

Guest: “No! I made a reservation… therefore… I am guaranteed a room! Guaranteed!” *runs off*

(The guest disappeared in the elevator before I could catch him, and was in his room in a flash. He set the deadbolt and ignored all calls and knocks. Finally the authorities had to BREAK down the door to the room and he was hauled away, yelling that he was ‘guaranteed’ a room and that he would complain to corporate. He did, and was charged for the cost of a new door.)

1 Thumbs
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The Great Intelligence Disconnect

| Austin, TX, USA | Right | February 24, 2014

(I work at a gaming company and provide tech support to all of our customers that call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I hope you can help me. I have been having connection issues all week with [Game]. I play for about 30 minutes and am disconnected. Can you fix it?”

Me: “I can try. First let’s open up the website to pull up some info that may help us resolve this.”

(About 30 seconds pass.)

Me: “Are you there, sir?”

Customer: “Sorry, the internet has been having issues all week. It is a bit slow right now…”

The Worst Example Of Homosapien

| Chicago, IL, USA | Right | February 24, 2014

(A customer came up to me while I am stocking the cooler.)

Customer: “Where’s the straight milk?”

Me: “What? What’s straight milk?”

Customer: “Straight milk!”

Me: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Customer: “Straight milk, so it doesn’t turn my kids gay.”

Me: “Milk doesn’t turn anybody gay!”

Customer: “Sure it does. See right here. It’s HOMO-genized milk. I want the HETERO-genized milk.”

Me: “…”

1 Thumbs
2,110
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5 Stories Of Hilarious Lawlessness

| Not Always Right | Right | February 23, 2014

Weekly Roundup: 5 Stories Of Hilarious Lawlessness These customers learn the hard way that crime doesn’t pay!

  1. In Real Hot Sauce Now (10,687 thumbs up)
  2. Dovahkiin’s Day Off (4,249 thumbs up)
  3. Honesty Is Not Always The Best Policy (4,219 thumbs up)
  4. When Two Wrongs Make It Right (6,702 thumbs up)
  5. Needs To Press Paws (5,955 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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