Singing To A Different Scripted Tune

| UK | Right | October 10, 2013

(I ring up my phone network provider to get my mobile phone contract renegotiated. Thanks to regulations in the UK, call center staff are told they must repeat themselves over and over again so the consumer understands what they’re signing up to. I get a little bored after hearing the same script for the fifth time.)

Employee: “So, you understand that you’ll be getting 600 minutes—”

Me: “DAAAAHHH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH, DAAAAAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH, DAAAAAHHHH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH!”

Employee: “1 gig of data—”

Me: “DAAAAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH!”

Employee: “You have the right to—”

Me: “DUUUH DUUUUH DUUUH DUUUUH!”

Employee: “Contact us at any time if—”

Me: “Do you ever feel like you’re repeating yourself? I’m sure I’ve heard this 12 times already.”

Employee: “You have no idea.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll just keep singing then.”

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Although He Uses A Lot Of Ranch

| Right | October 9, 2013

Giving Them A Spanish Inquisition

, | Spain | Right | October 9, 2013

(I’m a teenager, although I look younger. My father owns a small, English-run shop, and I work some shifts there if I want some extra cash. My father can’t speak a word of Spanish, although I can since I go to school in Spain. Two customers walk in, talking in Spanish.)

Customer #1: “I hate this shop! It’s stupid, and they don’t even speak Spanish.”

Customer #2: “I know, right? I only come in here so I can mentally mock everything.”

(I’ve been listening the whole time, but they’ve only just spotted me.)

Customer #1: “Look! They’ve hired some low-life kid to help them out. I swear that’s illegal; I’m going to report it because it will be funny.”

(I’ve been keeping quiet, but now I get angry. I twist around, facing the men, and start talking to them in Spanish.)

Me: “Okay, listen up: I’m a teenager, and my dad owns this shop. In case you haven’t noticed already, I do speak Spanish, and I’ve heard everything you just said. So if you hate this shop so much, why don’t you get out?”

(We never see them again, which my father appreciates, since they were always coming in without buying anything and he didn’t know how to say anything!)

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Hope He Is Kidding

| BC, Canada | Right | October 9, 2013

(I work in a coffee shop that has a drive-thru, and we’re currently in the afternoon rush. I’m wearing a headset, making drinks for my manager who is taking the drive-thru orders.)

Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to [coffee shop]; how’s your day going?

Customer: “It’s alright. Get me a large black coffee.”

Coworker: “For sure! Can we get you an oat bar to go with that today?”

Customer: “A what?”

Coworker: “An oat bar.”

Customer: *angrily* “No, I don’t want a goat farm with that!”

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Doing A Job On Having A Job

, | London, England, UK | Right | October 9, 2013

(It’s about 6:30 am. I’m working drive-thru near to the end of an overnight shift. The queue is pretty slow because we’re serving breakfast, and many people have complex grill orders that need to be filled. A customer pulls up to my window and pays without saying a word. However, as soon as I start to take another order, the customer yells at me.)

Customer: “Why is my order taking so d*** long?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is a fairly large order for the two cars in front. We’re rather understaffed today, too.”

Customer: “Well, get them to move faster! It’s alright for some! Unlike you I actually have a JOB to get to!”

Me: *stares down at my work uniform*

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